Rambled Heart Strings Part II

Before you go any further, if you haven’t read Rambled Heart Strings read that first and then come back!

It really is crazy how God works. His ways are so majestic and far higher than all we can think or imagine. Truly, we wrote that blog out of a broken heart that was deeply grieved by the loss of one of our girls but God works all things for the good for those who love Him. A friend of ours read our blog and was at her husband’s soccer game, sitting in the bleachers, sharing with another wife about what had happened and this blog. The other woman felt the story was too similar to a girl her brother use to date. It turned out this woman’s brother did date our girl ‘A’ and was able to get in contact with A’s sister which linked her family to this story. Did you keep up with all that?

Long story short – since Rambled Heart Strings was published Jaime and I have been in contact with A’s family.

We were super humbled to receive an invitation to attend a memorial gathering in A’s honor on June 30^th, what would have been A’s 30^th birthday. We weren’t sure what to expect because all we knew of A’s family life was that A aged out of foster care but her siblings were adopted.

Jaime and I were both really looking forward to spending the day with A’s family and celebrating her 30^th. We were able to share with them the joy that we had during our last two visits with A and offer them hope. One of her cousins shared that we were the only ones who had contact with her in the last two years. This made us ever so thankful that the Lord put her in our path. He is so faithful to care for His children. We loved her dearly and appreciated the opportunity to honor her life.

When you read the statistics about youth that age out of foster care it is disheartening. Every year 27,000 youth age out and 50% of those 27,000 develop a substance abuse. It definitely gave the two us of a deeper desire of adoption and just how amazing that process is.

We released balloons in her honor with one hold balloon for her golden birthday, 30 on the 30^th!
Relationships make all the difference, our girls are our family!

front row parking

I pulled into the parking lot of my work this morning about an hour after I usually come in. My legs are pretty sore this morning following an hour butt kicking at crossfit and to be honest I was dreading parking far and having to walk to the door. Passing through all of the cars I saw a spot a lot closer than I expected so I immediately pulled in and I was really excited. I said ‘Thank you Jesus’ and got out of my car. The closer I got toward the door the more clearly I could see a front row spot right outside the entrance. This may sound silly, but I had a deep revelation in this moment. I thought ‘how often do I accept second best?’ – ‘how often do I settle’ – ‘how often do I give up before receiving God’s best'. Because the fact of the matter is, God wants all of us to have front row parking. When God gives us blessings it is because it brings Him joy. He doesn’t give us half fast blessings but rather abundant blessings. He doesn’t say ‘here is your perfect ice cream sundae…..minus the caramel, nuts, whipped cream, and cherry’.  

I want God’s best. I want front row parking. But, I also want to give God my best, I want to give Him front row parking, I want to give Him myself in abundance. It is out of the abundance of Him that I can offer Him the abundance of me.

lackadaisical.

Us -  “How can we pray with you tonight”

Her – “Oh, I got raped last night, so for protection. Pray that I don’t get raped again tonight”

Jaime continues on to pray with this girl and I just sat there as righteous anger boiled up within me.

She said it so calmly, so lackadaisical, as if it were a frequent prayer request….. as if rape was something that happened so common that she was numb to it.

She was the third woman that night to tell us she was raped.

Women shouldn’t have to live in fear of being raped.

Women shouldn’t have to live in fear of being raped twice in twenty-four hours.

I can’t think of anything more demeaning and demoralizing than rape.
I can’t think of something that makes a woman feel more unworthy.

When God sent Jesus so that we may have life and have it in abundance rape was not a part of that abundance. I just kept asking myself over and over again “God….. what kind of world do we live in?” What kind of world do we live in where men rape women? And worse, what kind of world do we live in where we know that this happens and we do n.o.t.h.i.n.g.? What kind of world do we live in where the City of Detroit Police Department has 11,000 rape kits sitting in their evidence room that havent been tested because they are from prostitutes?

And these are the sort of nights that keep us awake, these are the sort of nights that stir our spirits, these are the kind of nights that turn our stomachs at the disgusting reality of what happens minutes from our front doors.

“If we have hands like God and arms like Christ

we’d reach far we’d take each scar

and we’d never measure the length

we’d never hesitate

we’d never take the time to just think about it and wait

we’d stretch so far we’d have stretch marks of faith

because some people only know the comfort of their chains

some people think God only looks like their abusive fathers face

some people don’t even know there is a possibility to be saved

because they don’t know what we know

that love isn’t something you pay for

lust isn’t something you pay for

sex isn’t something you pay for

sin is something you pay for

and that price has already been paid for

with the blood of a savior

whose arms stretch so far they stretch through time

with limitless relentless restoring grace

who in our world needs to hear that today

who right beside you needs some truth today

who is your neighbor beat up and bleeding

ignored and needing on the side of the way

who is broken in bondage

in that side of the world or on this side of the street

Because they are someone beautiful

they are someone valuable

blood was shed because

they were meant to be someone free”

-Hosanna Wong

the ninety-nine

Part two.

We started outreach on Monday night with the same prayer we ended Sunday with, “God please don’t let us see her…” – we really wanted her to leave the streets, we really wanted her to pursue the stirring in her heart, we really wanted her to encounter the fullness of God and the abundance He has for her. Seeing her meant she didn’t go to rehab.

From an outsiders perspective one may think this is a simple decision, if you want to get off the streets then you can leave at any time… but it is not like that, not in the slightest. Leaving the streets because you are arrested is easy because you are being forced. Leaving the streets because you are sick is easy because you have no other choice. Leaving the streets because you are choosing to get clean from drugs and because you believe in yourself is not easy. Drugs suck you in, manipulate your mind, control your thoughts, and take power of your will.

If drugs are not enough to keep you the chaos of life is. The streets suck you in and pull you into a whirlwind of self-damnation with a whisper of ‘this is all you are good enough for…’ The streets tell a girl she isn’t worthy and if the streets don’t kill her the drugs will.

We prayed with over forty people Monday night. Stopped at a few crack houses, prayed with drug lords, held hands with hopeless women, heard the desperate cries “I just want off the streets”….

As the sun went down over Detroit and the scarcity of street lights flickered… we hadn’t seen her yet. We drove to the crack house we found her at on Sunday and were greeted by the same man… he asked if we were looking for her again and we said we were…. He walked into the crack house, his voice echoed to the streets as he called her name… but there wasn’t a response… he came out of the house and said “I saw her earlier…. She looked so great, she was all dressed up, her hair was done, she said she was leaving and then she left….”

I love how God works because even in that moment as joyous as our hearts were we saw that the harvest was still plentiful and right in front of us. We asked our new friend what happened to his nose, which was so obviously in poor shape…. He shared he was in an altercation and his right nostril was ‘ripped’ off….. so we prayed over him and asked God to grow that back, to rebuild cartilage, to heal him. We told him we would be back on Monday again and expectantly looked forward to seeing a healed nose. She may have left but new relationships built from her exit. Even when the one sheep comes back… there is still 99 more to tend to…

As we drove off, Jaime and I put in our calendars “_________ left the streets today” with a yearly reminder. A yearly reminder that she is worthy, she is good enough, she has a plan… We have learned that God is stronger than any force of a drug addiction, any force of mind manipulation, any force of control –when He puts something in our hearts nothing can stop us. The one sheep returned, but we still have ninety-nine more...... ninety-nine more sheep that need to know about God's redemptive love... ninety-nine more that have a story to fulfill....

What we couldn’t do for ourselves Christ perfected.

she was the impossibility...

God can answer a prayer in an instant. Last night we asked God to put two specific women in our path and immediately after those prayers we saw both women. God can answer a prayer in an instant but the word tells us to pray without ceasing – that means when the answer doesn’t happen immediately you keep knocking, seeking, and asking. For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end—it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay. – Habakkuk 2:3.

We see a lot of girls on the streets every week, most we see repeatedly, some once or twice and never again. Some girls we can see every week for a year and still not form a deep relationship with them and some we see continuously for a year and build a connection that is deeper than the one I share with my own neighbor. Some girls grip your heart the second you meet them, their face follows you home, and you find yourself praying for them all the time. There is one girl I met a year ago that I instantly loved the second I first met her. T’was love at first sight if you will. Something about her captivated me and I’ve seen God use her to speak into my life countless times. She is one of the faces we see every week that I take with me off the streets. The whole team loves her. She is the girl that you think will never leave the streets – she is the impossibility.

Last night while driving during outreach I said “Jesusssssss….. it would be SO COOL if you could just put ______ in our path!!!!” one block later… boom. “okay… now you are just showing off”. I jumped out of the car and gave her a big hug and told her how much I missed her and she kept telling us how much she loved us and wouldn’t let go. I think we must’ve hugged for a solid five minutes. As she gripped my arm with her hand and reached her other arm around my neck resting on my shoulder, she began sharing with our team how she tracked down her birth mom and left the streets for the first time on her own terms; she wasn’t arrested, wasn’t in jail, not sick…but wanted to leave. She was clean for four days and the happiest any of us have ever seen her.

She told us she had dreams and couldn’t live like this anymore. She told us she had a story, she had a testimony, that she was a human being and not just a prostitute….. she told us she was worthy of love.

We stood on that street corner for twenty minutes listening to her tell us about God’s restoration in her life. If ever I heard the gospel preached it was in that moment. We listened to her tell us that one day she would be riding around with us praying for the girls. We listened to her tell us that God had a plan for her life. She said she was saying good bye to the streets and hello to a new life. It was hands down one of the best moments of my entire life. Before she left Jaime grabbed her hand and looked her right in the eye and told her that God did have a purpose for her life, that she does have a plan and how much he loves her. She is the impossibility God made possible.

She walked away and I started to laugh and then I started to cry… an hour later our team was still in shock. It always blows my mind to see the Sovereignty of our God. How majestic and wondrous His ways are and how beautiful His plans unfold. God doesn’t see a prostitute or a drug addict, He sees His beloved. A whole year I’ve been praying for her….. for this moment, for last night…. To walk in the freedom God has for her. Glory.

Happy Anniversary AWOL!

Today is the one year anniversary of All Worthy of Love! Today is proof that dreams really do come true.

When AWOL first surfaced I was very hesitant. I did not want to start a ministry. I did not want the responsibility. After hearing the statistic that Americans spend $16 billion dollars on Valentine’s Day to show one person that they are worthy of love while $32 billion dollars a year is spent on the human trafficking industry that shows 27 million people that they are not worthy of love, my life was wrecked. I had heard that slavery still existed, I donated money, participated in awareness campaigns here and there but I was not personally affected. I wonder now how that could have ever been true? I was that person that knew about slavery but chose not to allow it to affect my life. I mean it makes sense, it really is an inconvenience to turn a deaf ear to the reality that there are more slaves today than there ever has been before in history. I use the word inconvenience because when that truth resounds in your heart and truly captures your attention it keeps you up at night, it clouds your mind, it surrounds your thoughts, it breaks your heart and takes you to a depth of grief you otherwise would not know.

I started this Facebook event six days before Valentine’s day 2012 and encouraged my 600 Facebook friends (I mean, I probably knew half of them, right?) to donate to an organization that was abolishing slavery to show all people that they are worthy of love in place of flowers and chocolates for one person. I really did not think anything would come from this. But on the 14^th of February 600 people turned into 7,000…. In six days. The consensus of this event was that the majority of the people invited truly had no idea slavery still existed. It was then that I knew I could never revert back into knowing and doing nothing. God began to break my heart to a level I had never known. I began to grieve for the innocent lives that were robbed. I began to feel the pain of bondage. I began to understand more deeply my Makers heart and the pain He feels for the 27 million. So I said yes. I said yes to be a voice for the voiceless. I said yes to being inconvenienced every day of the rest of my life in order to bring one person out of bondage. I said yes to what breaks God’s heart. I said yes to be a part of the solution. I said yes to whatever God wanted to do with my life. I said yes to stepping out in faith on a dream that all people would know they are worthy of love. I said yes.

It has been the absolute best decision I could have ever made next to saying Yes to the saving grace offered by my Savior, Jesus Christ.

The last year has been incredible. I mean I sit here and laugh at all the greatness that I’ve witnessed. If I have learned anything it is to follow your dreams. No matter what. Follow your dreams. What the world sees as impossible, God sees as possible. Even with that truth, I have felt discouraged and inadequate of making this dream a reality because the world says a twenty something year old cannot change a culturally accepted reality of slavery. The world says a young girl from Detroit cannot make any dent in an evil as large as slavery. But what the world says doesn’t hold a candle to what my God says. Yes, I cannot make a dent in slavery on my own --- but with the help of others who have said yes, we can all make a dent, we can all make a difference.  When I think of AWOL two main factors come to my mind:

1. I cannot do anything apart from God.

2. I can accomplish very little apart from a working with a team and being involved in a community.

So today on the one year anniversary – I am not more excited about today than any other day because I have done anything. I am more excited about today because I have single handedly witnessed God move and use a body to make a change. I have seen lives changed. I have seen girls leave the industry. I have seen lives restored and rescued. I have seen abolitionists rise up and say yes. I have seen girls freed from addiction. I have seen organizations come together rather than work in competition. I know that God is a God of justice and He will not stop until it rolls on like a river.

  

Thank you, Jaime Davis for your support, dedication, and heart to seek justice. Thank you for saying yes. I am so thankful to have you on this team and to have walked through the last year with you. You are an amazing President and AWOL is blessed to have you as a leader. Your audacious spirit and committed heart to loving the broken and breaking the chains of injustice encourage me. Thank you for being my sister, best friend, and ministry partner. I couldn’t imagine walking through the last year without you.

Thank you, Donna McCauley for believing in Jaime and me and welcoming us into the incredible ministry you lead. You have been a huge blessing to the two of us and your wisdom has forever changed us. I have never known a woman so obedient to God and so in love with His people. Because you said yes countless lives have come to know Christ, to know restoration, and to be freed from bondage. I cannot thank you enough for supporting AWOL and mentoring us as we walk in the path God has called us to. I love you Mama D!

To the AWOL team & Board of Directors --- greater things are still to be done – thank you for saying yes and for believing in a vision God gave me and being a part of the solution. Thank you for following God and for being HIS answer to injustice. You are world changers and it is an honor to work alongside you all in the abolition of slavery.

And to everyone that reads this, know these truths and let them resound in your heart -- God wants to use YOU to impact this world and no matter what anyone tells you – hear this, you are a world changer, you have a destiny, and your life serves a divine purpose…. SAY YES.

opened doors

This week has been such an exciting week of revelations. God is just so good. This morning a dear friend texted me “Today doors are going to open, not close”. I thought about it for a moment and I was like yeah of course doors will be opened. God does not lead us through a desert and abandon us. He does not leave us thirsty. I began thinking of the Israelites in the book of Exodus (my favorite book) and how they were in bondage for over 400 years. God sent Moses to rescue and redeem them. Moses only had the voice of God to depend on and when God told Moses to take the Israelites far away to the Red Sea Moses trusted Him. During their journey the Israelites lost faith….several times. They would have rather been back in bondage than walk through the desert toward a destination that was unknown. They continually questioned Moses and where they were headed. But, Moses, in faith trusted that God had a bigger plan. See, God was leading the Israelites toward an opened door… but the Israelites could not see that door. God doesn’t lead us through deserts to abandon us or shut us down with a closed door. God opens doors for us. He is the ultimate gentleman. Sometimes we cannot see the opened door. Sometimes we don’t even think the door exists.

 In this case, the door did not exist as far as human understanding. God had a bigger plan. He was not leading the Israelites in vain. God lead them to the Red Sea, a massive body of water. Once they got there the Israelites faith really began to deplete. But, God in His amazing power told Moses to lift his staff to the Red Sea and with that the Sea began to part. God made a door. He parted a sea and made a way for the Israelites to walk through. On each side was a wall of water and between the two was a walk way. God makes paths for us. Let’s live our lives in faith that God is a God who parts seas for us and makes a way even when we cannot see it. God opens doors that do not even exist. He is the God of impossibility because with Him all things are possible. Whatever you are facing, wherever you are wondering…. Listen to the small still voice behind you saying “This is the way; walk in it” (Is. 30:21). God will open doors for you in its appointed time. Do not waver like the Israelites…. Be firm. Have faith and trust Him. He is on your side. Walk toward open doors even when you don’t see them.

In your unfailing love you will lead the people you have redeemed.

In your strength you will guide them to your holy dwelling. – Exodus 15:13

the cost is your life

When I traveled to Bangkok and walked the streets of one of the most notorious red light districts in the world the verse that continually resounded in my mind was John 1:5. “the light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it”. Outreach this week started with three gunshots… about a street away. It was an interesting tone to start the night off. The next place we went to was a crack house, which is not unusual for us but the gentleman that walked out was an unfamiliar face… I had a moment where I thought “okay this is it… I’m probably going to die” which then followed by praying for this man and looking him into the eyes and telling him that Jesus loves him…..and not dying. The next stop we heard from a sister that her son was gunned down two weeks prior on the street we were standing on. It was a heavy start to the night. It is interesting how we can get lost in focusing on the good that comes with Christ, the easy, the peace, the joy… but there is also a cost to following Jesus and carrying the Cross daily. The cost is your life. Doing outreach can be dark. You truly never know what each outing will bring or what will happen. What I do know is that no matter what comes our way God is on our side, God is our protector, and if I die of anything I pray that it is while I am bringing others closer to Him. As believers we are not called into this cushiony life that is easy and safe… we are called to make disciples, no matter the cost. We are called to give until it hurts like Jesus did. We get the cushiony life and the easy safe life once we are in Heaven for all of eternity. But I can say this; the darkness never overcomes the light. As heavy as this night was we did end up at a house filled with beautiful children who All Worthy of Love was able to bless with an abundance of Christmas presents and the joy that beamed from this home overcame all the darkness we had just encountered. This one home shined so brightly. The light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it. If you are in Christ Jesus and believe that Jesus died for your sins and rose from the dead and is now alive in Heaven seated at the right hand of the Father and is coming back again….. then YOU are this light we found in this home. You are the light that is not overcome by the darkness. You are. We are. But only because He is.

revitilization

Last night I was hanging with my sweet roommate and we were discussing how wild this last year has been. As December creeps in on us (tomorrow) as does the close of the year. 2012 has been such a huge blessing! I have continually seen the goodness of the Lord prevail in all circumstances and I have witnessed His love and His beauty in so many different areas, situations, and events. Over the last year or so my feet have touched ground in Orlando, Vegas, Haiti, Miami, Japan, Thailand, New Jersey, New York, Washington DC, Amsterdam, Florence, Rome, and most importantly, Detroit City. I have been so blessed to travel and see so many things and meet so many different people. Everywhere I go I see the Lord’s beauty. I see the Lord’s goodness. I see the Lord’s faithfulness…in the good, the trials, the lows, and the unknown…He has been so faithful. I have learned that God truly does bring all things to completion. I have watched a City sprout into a re-birth and I’ve been a part of a Community that is hungry and eager to be a part of that revitalization and restoration. I have laughed, cried, loved, hurt, and experienced life. What a joy it is to feel. I cannot express the gratitude I have for my Church community and just how loving and supportive of a family they have been. I have watched a ministry (All Worthy of Love) grow and I’ve witnessed miracles and growth on the streets. The last 12-18 months have been so abundant but truly they have all lead me back to right where I am… in the City of Detroit. Loving out my faith. Dreaming to reality. Not just seeking to witness revitalization, to desire revitalization, but to deeply be saturated in being a part of revitalization…. In Detroit and in my community of friends. I eagerly anticipate the goodness of December and the next year. May it be His will and His Kingdom on Earth as it is in Heaven in my life, your life, and in this City.

Come

“Come now, let us settle the matter,” says the Lord. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.  – Isaiah 1:18

 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest.” – Matthew 11:28

 “Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost.” – Isaiah 55:1

 “Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus.” – Matthew 14:29

 “The Spirit and the bride say, “Come! “And let the one who hears say, “Come!“ Let the one who is thirsty come; and let the one who wishes take the free gift of the water of life. – Revelation 22:17

God presents us with an invitation.

He is saying ..come..

Rambled heart strings.

I opened my eyes yesteday morning and the first thing I saw was my computer screen saver, it read “Reach the lost – No matter the cost”

My heart is heavy as I write this…. Someone needs to share her story. There is no obituary. There is no funeral that we know of. There is no certainty as to how it happened. The only certainty I can wrap my mind around and the brokenness I feel in my heart is that the last encounter we had with her she knew that Jesus loved her and as we wrapped our arms around her and prayed over her chains were broken.

I met her one of my first times out on the streets with 70x7… she was so hesitant to come near our van, she didn’t want prayer and she didn’t want to talk. Each week that we saw her she would come a little closer toward the van, soon she would let us pray over her, and sometimes she would let us in to a little of her world. I remember seeing her for the first time and saying “that girl is hard” and Jaime responded “No, she is broken.”  I’ve written about her on this blog numerous times…. She is the girl I wanted to take home with me. She is the girl that kept me awake at night…. often. Each week she looked a little rougher, a little more broken, a little more hurt… the streets were killing her slowly. As time progressed so did her trust in us. She started to come to the window of the van and would share some prayer requests…most always for safety. She then let us get out of the van and hug her. We were there when she was scared. We were there when she got out of jail. We were there after she was beat up and raped. We were there when she got out of rehab and was clean from heroine. We were there when she wanted prayer and we were there when she needed a comforting hug. We were there.

Words fail me…they don’t do justice. Our team loved her. It is easy to recall the last six months of the moments we met with her… but the last two encounters are embedded on my heart. The second to last time we saw her we were on the streets praying with a group of six or seven people and she came running around the corner “can I have one.. Can I have one!!”… Every one of us in the van just started smiling. She was happy to see us; she had been waiting for us. That night she welcomed me out to hug her and pray over her. This was a huge breakthrough. The following week we were out and we ran into our beloved… she had been drinking and was the most talkative we ever saw her. Jeana got out of the van and had a 20 minute conversation with her and she began to pour out her heart. She wasn’t using heroine. She just got out of rehab. She hated being on the streets. She wanted out. She felt trapped. She applied for a job at K-Mart. She didn’t know how things got to this point. She was scared. She wanted to be freed. She wanted to be clean. She passed up a friend who was waiting on her because she WANTED prayer. She had plans. She shared she wanted to get married and have kids one day. She wanted a better life. She also shared she felt hopeless and felt like death was her only option…she didn’t want to live anymore if this was all life had for her. She shared how she got on the streets and about the days before. She opened her heart and we offered her Jesus. Jeana wrapped her arms around her and prayed over her.

Last night we were stopped at the spot she usually is at. We prayed with a few people and then he came over…we asked him where she was and he said “She is no longer with us”…. He went on to share that she died from an overdose. My heart sank. I was numb. I couldn’t move. It seemed like so many people were coming to the van, more than ever in this spot and I felt like I was stuck in time and just couldn’t focus. Even one of the girls on the streets asked if we were okay. As everyone left the van and we rolled up our window our van was silent. I just broke down in a deep cry. The pain was unreal. It was like someone just told me my relative died. I buried my head in my arms and said “Donna you’re gonna have to coach me through this… I don’t know how I get my head back in the game after this”… she said “you don’t….”.

I felt like last night was God saying “do you really know what you are saying yes to” and then showed us a glimpse… the cost is worth it and her death is a reminder of the importance that these girls need to know they are loved and that Jesus Christ died for them. Jaime and I drove home together, a rather quiet drive… we sat in the car in silence and listened to ‘Finish what you started’ by Sean Feucht. “Oh my God, You can do anything…and oh my God, nothing is too hard for you… You’re faithful to the end.. You will finish what You started…” God is faithful until the end. He finishes what He starts. He loved her so much that He sent our team to pray with her every week. As much as it grieves my heart to know that I won’t see her any longer… It encourages me to know that we were used to show her Jesus. Our days are fleeting.. Tomorrow is not promised.. and knowing Jesus is the ONLY thing that matters.

I am so blessed to work with such an amazing team and be a small part in such an incredible outreach. I love our team. Our leader, Donna is like a Mom to us… she called last night to check on us and make sure we were okay… The streets aren’t just an outreach; it’s a part of our lives relationally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. As much as it pains me to see her go, I am blessed beyond words that we were able to know her. I can’t imagine not being on these streets. Not building these relationships. Not offering hope. I can’t imagine not having these amazing relationships with these girls. I’m so thankful for our team and that we have the privilege to reach God’s children and offer them hope. I’m thankful that the feet that deliver the good news are beautiful and that we were able to offer her hope, love, and Jesus.  I can’t imagine doing anything different. Reach the lost – no matter the cost.

I am His

Desperate for Your glory to shine

You gave Your life to save mine

Knitted me deep in my innermost being

I feel my heart move and my Spirit agreeing

Laying down all that I am to be all that You are

It should be my hands claimed by a scar

Death couldn’t hold you down

You are the most high deserving the crown

You call me lovely and see the best in me

I am the one you’ve called, I am she

I will rise to fulfill all you have planned

and seek the beauty of the one seated at the right-hand

Plans that will prosper and a life that brings joy

Satan has no hold, nothing in me he can destroy

Use this life for all you will

My joy heightens as you abundantly fill

My worth is found in you alone

Lover of my soul seated on the throne

-LF

psalm.eighty.four.

How lovely is your dwelling place,

    O Lord of hosts!

2 My soul longs, yes, faints

    for the courts of the Lord;

my heart and flesh sing for joy

    to the living God.

3 Even the sparrow finds a home,

    and the swallow a nest for herself,

    where she may lay her young,

at your altars, O Lord of hosts,

    my King and my God.

4 Blessed are those who dwell in your house,

    ever singing your praiser! Selah

5 Blessed are those whose strength is in you,

    in whose heart are the highways to Zion.

6 As they go through the Valley of Baca

    they make it a place of springs;

    the early rain also covers it with pools.

7 They go from strength to strength;

    each one appears before God in Zion.

8 O Lord God of hosts, hear my prayer;

    give ear, O God of Jacob! Selah

9 Behold our shield, O God;

    look on the face of your anointed!

10 For a day in your courts is better

    than a thousand elsewhere.

I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God

    than dwell in the tents of wickedness.

11 For the Lord God is a sun and shield;

    the Lord bestows favor and honor.

No good thing does he withhold

    from those who walk uprightly.

12 O Lord of hosts,

    blessed is the one who trusts in you!

from comfort to courage

I sent out a text this morning to some friends that said "reflecting on Genesis 39:20-21 this morning. Joseph was put in prison and vs 21 says the Lord was with him. Whatever your prison is, emotional or financial strain, anxiety, self doubt or uncertainty, stress, etc., We serve a God who is not turned away by our imprisonment, but rather a God who goes into our prisons with us and delivers us from them. Take heart! The Lord is with you and He will see you through!"

No matter what we are faced with or what prisons we find ourselves in this week, God is with us.  We serve a God who goes into our prisons with us and delivers us from them.  One of my friends responded that comfort zones are prisons, too. This surprised me, I had never thought of my beloved comfort zone as a hindrance in my life. But after thinking on it I came to the conclusion that comfort zones are prisons. God did not create us to develop habits that are self-protecting or constricting, but rather to live a life of abundance.

Satan is really slick to make sure none of us leave our adolescents free from scars or pain. We learn reactions, responses, and are trained to think a certain way. We develop habits that are not easily detectable but constricting all the same. There is this zone that develops around us that we continually nurture and tend to throughout our lives. It’s mostly invisible but its attack is deep. It’s our comfort zone.

The comfort zone is a behavioral state within which a person operates in an anxiety-neutral condition, using a limited set of behaviors to deliver a steady level of performance, usually without a sense of risk (White).

The word ‘comfort’ sparks a renewing emotion of safety, but it is actually the opposite. The title of the zone itself is deceitful. Comfort zones are hindrances. They keep us from fully engaging in life. Most of our zones are deeper than the initial thought; they are trained beneath our level of consciousness. They are stumbling blocks into new seasons of restoration. They are expectations that clog our vision when newness is brought about. They are chains that keep us in one place, in one mindset, in one thought process. Comfort zones are habits we develop in an effort to self-protect. If we keep doing the same thing we will keep seeing the same results.

If you stay on the shore of the ocean because you are afraid of what rests within the massive body of water you miss the opportunities for the Lord to show you His perfect strength when a wave knocks you down, you miss the freedom from swimming and letting go of barriers that hold you back, you miss the liberating view of a wave that has knocked you down come to an end. Waves cannot go on forever, they are fleeting and unpredictable, but they are not constraining. We cannot go through life in an effort to avoid mistakes or failures; we miss out on the thrill of recreating. We cannot remain in prisons of fear. We were made for more than that. Get off the shore, jump into the ocean.

So what is your comfort zone? What do you gravitate toward when times are rough? What would you do if you ditched your comfort zone? Take heart! God goes into these prisons with us and allows us to come as we are and leave as He is. Take your comfort zone and turn it into a courage zone.
You are more than a conqueror.

Reunite - Guest Post

I couldn't have put the following night into better words... Below is a post written by my dearest friend Jaime and a night that changed our lives....

She was the girl we met the very first time I went out with the 70x7 prostitution street ministry. She was a white girl. Short hair. Eerily familiar. She was on my side of the van so my window was down and as Donna prayed for her, I just stared at her. Deep desperation ran through her eyes. Broken. Exhausted. Waiting for the next hit. But I KNEW her. How?

We parted ways, she went one way and we drove another way. The moment we hit the end of the street I knew, She was friends with my brother. My brother, who almost two years ago, died of a heroin overdose. My brother, raised in Troy, Michigan - as suburbs as they come. They were friends. I thought to myself, there is no way. She looked too different. Way too different. I graduated with her brother. Good friends with her brother actually. I knew the heavy set, bleached out hair girl. Not the short brown haired, skinny girl wearing raggedy clothes and an old pair of tennis shoes. My heart broke. I was so shook up.

Last night we went out again. When we finished Lindsey and I were not ready to be done, so we got dropped at our cars and went out again. Before this happened we prayed and asked God to show us specific things we needed to know about the people we should find. Our treasure hunt. Among other things REUNITE was on our list . We stopped at a coney island to find a "bridgette" on our list. No dice. So we drive on our way and just outside the coney island is a woman waiting to be bought. We were going to stop and noticed it was the crazy lady we prayed for earlier so Lindsey said, "keep driving." Then we see the girl next to her. Grey ragged shirt, brown scraggily hair, a huge mess. I thought to myself and maybe out loud, "Wait, is that a boy or a girl?" She turns to face us and my immediate response out loud was, "Oh crap , she's the one." Lindsey thinking nothing says, "Hi! We are from the prayer van, we don't have food but we would like to pray for you."

I’m looking into her eyes and my heart is pounding and my hands shaking. Before she answers Lindsey, I look her in the eyes and I point, "What is your last name?" Without hesitation she answers me with the last name I expected to hear. I almost lost it. I fumbled for my seat belt, dropped some choice words, covered my mouth as I cannot believe what just came out of it and ran around the back of my car to her.

I look her dead on and with a hand over my heart I say, "I am Jaime Davis. I am Mark Davis's sister."

"Oh. Crap," She says. Her heart sinks. My heart sinks. I grab her and pull her away from the car and we hug forever it seemed. She cried. I cried. My whole body shook. I couldn't even believe who I was holding in my arms, rubbing her back, feeling her boney spine with my hand.

"How are you? Does your family know what's happening? Are you working the streets? How are you? How are you? Tell me everything"

She explains she's been waiting for her girlfriend for over an hour now. She hasn't come back yet. She is planning on going to rehab in a couple days. She spoke with her family not too long ago and sometimes she works the streets. She has to. There is no other way. We get in my car and I pray some more for her. We talk. "Do you want to be free from this?"

"Everyday"

After Lindsey asks about the relationship she had with my brother she told us, "He was the first person I got high with."

Followed by a mumbled

"It was the hardest funeral I've ever been too."

We prayed for her. We prayed the chains of addiction would be broke. The scars on her arms would be gone. Every area she ever stuck a needle would be healed in the name of Jesus. The blood in her body would run clean and Jesus would replace it with His. That She would never desire another high. That she would have the strength to walk away and to get on the plane to South Dakota and start fresh. That this night would be the first day of the rest of her life. We called out the destiny and purpose for her life.

We prayed three times with her and every time we were done she was wiping away her tears. Lindsey told her she had a vision as we prayed the last time of her living in a nice house, with a family and a husband, with money. That blessings are coming her way.

Lindsey gave me twizzlers I never even intended to eat. And so she, starving, gladly accepted our twizzlers with a, "yeah I want those, I’m fu**ing starving." She got out of the car. I hugged her again, "I Love you. If you need anything call me. Today is a new beginning, I fully believe that." As we drove away, Lindsey looks at me with brokenness and says, "How does someone from Troy, Michigan end up in a place like this??"

Today as I was praying for her, this verse came to me, Hosea 2:14

 “Therefore, behold, I will allure her,

 and bring her into the wilderness,

 and speak tenderly to her" 

"And there I will give her her vineyards

and make the Valley of Achore a door of hope.

And there she shall answer as in the days of her youth,

as at the time when she came out of the land of Egypt."

Verse 14 is hers. If you read this, that is what you pray over her. She will walk out of the darkness. Lindsey told me last night that me REUNITING with her gives her hope beyond belief. It reminds her of what will happen if she doesn't get clean. My brother's memory will be a lasting impression of why she needs to get better. My brother through his weakness can be her strength.

Lord give her the strength to move on. Supernaturally intervene. This God - His way is Perfect

Obedience.

For no prophecy was ever produced by the will of man, but men spoke from God as they were carried along by the Holy Spirit. – 2 Peter 1:21

Over the weekend I witnessed more miracles than I can count. The Holy Spirit is alive and active.

I attended a spiritual awakening conference and it was life changing. When I first walked into the conference I saw this couple sitting in front of me and I thought “wow, they would have a really good looking child”… strange, right? About an hour later I got a word laid on my heart, ‘infertility’. My intial reaction was ‘wow, God, that is a really tough word’…. It came again. Then ‘I’m going to give you a child’ came. Okay. So a tough word and then hope. I prayed discernment… I knew the word was for the couple I had saw when I first walked in, but how scary to walk up and tell them “heyyyy…so the Spirit told me you are struggling with infertility butttt God says He is going to give you a child”. Again, the word came. So out of obedience and faith I walked up to the couple and introduced myself and asked if they had any children. The woman’s eyes began to water as she responded that they did not. I proceeded to share that I felt like the Lord told me they were struggling with infertility but He was going to give them a child. The woman began to cry. They didn’t say much and I began to feel a little panicked. What if I just spoke death into a womb? But peace washed over me and the couple thanked me for being obedient. They ended up speaking life into me and sharing that my obedience would give life to others. About an hour or so later the couple was heading out to leave and walked over to me and apologized if they did not seem receptive toward the word I shared. The two then proceeded to tell me that they had been struggling with infertility for seven years. Biblically the seventh year is the year of completion. I reiterated that God wanted to give them a child. The two left. A little while later this young man I had not met before came up to me and pointed at me straight in my face and said “you are a woman of obedience” I smiled and said “I receive that”. He proceeded to share that the couple I gave the word to were his youth pastors and he practically begged them to come to the conference. That evening was the only evening they were able to make the conference but came because this young man told them that God had a word for them. Haha. So wild.  

forty

I’ve come to learn that restoration can only be made complete when our hearts desire it more than just knowing it is what we ‘should’ be striving toward. When you get to the point of utter brokenness and you are on your knees just crying out to God and asking Him to make you whole and heal you. Praise God for the gift of today! Countless second chances have been given at the Cross. Today I completed reading the entire bible. I finished in 39 days (started a day late) but finished today the finale of our season of forty.

I can’t even comprehend words to describe the praise that is in my heart and the joy that is consuming every inch of my being. I am forever changed and it is all to His credit. Reading never felt like a chore or that it was forced. I wanted it so badly. I wanted healing in my life so badly. I wanted restoration so badly. God met me there in my brokenness and healed every part of me.

The Cross is my victory. Jesus Christ is my healer and I am healed by HIS stripes, by HIS blood!

Joy unspeakable.

fifteen days.

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate ,

And the Master so gently said, "Wait."

"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.

"My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to WAIT?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.

"And Lord, You promised, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And, Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry:
'I'm weary of asking! I need a reply.'"

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied once again, "You must wait."
So, I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting... for what?"

He seemed, then, to kneel,
And His eyes met with mine,
And He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

"All you seek I could give and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want-----
But, you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint;
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint;

"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there;
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me;
When darkness and silence are all you can 

see.

"You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My Spirit descends like a dove;
You would know that I give and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

"The glow of My comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight,
The depth that's beyond getting just what you asked
Of an infinite God, who makes what you have last.

"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that, 'My grace is sufficient for thee.'
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if I lost what I'm doing in you.

"So, be silent, My child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know Me.
And though oft' may My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still, Wait."

-Wait by Russel Kelfer

Beyond thankful for this season of waiting.... the depths of His heart have been so worth it.

without restraint

Dreaming from the inside out

This vessel desperately trying to sprout

Rain down on me oh Lord

Make beauty with this storyboard

Reveal your love to me once more

You are the waves, I am the shore

Open your arms and let me in

Create in me a new wineskin

Sweet Lord cover me in Your grace

On my knees I will embrace

Remind me now when my heart is faint

You are everlasting without restraint

--LF

Identity...

"Your identity and worth is not made up in anyone other than Jesus Christ".

My worth, your worth, all worth comes from the Savior. Worth is not defined by man made accomplishments, man made success. Worth is not lost in failure and it is not intimidated by hurt. Man does not define you, the Cross does.