opened doors

This week has been such an exciting week of revelations. God is just so good. This morning a dear friend texted me “Today doors are going to open, not close”. I thought about it for a moment and I was like yeah of course doors will be opened. God does not lead us through a desert and abandon us. He does not leave us thirsty. I began thinking of the Israelites in the book of Exodus (my favorite book) and how they were in bondage for over 400 years. God sent Moses to rescue and redeem them. Moses only had the voice of God to depend on and when God told Moses to take the Israelites far away to the Red Sea Moses trusted Him. During their journey the Israelites lost faith….several times. They would have rather been back in bondage than walk through the desert toward a destination that was unknown. They continually questioned Moses and where they were headed. But, Moses, in faith trusted that God had a bigger plan. See, God was leading the Israelites toward an opened door… but the Israelites could not see that door. God doesn’t lead us through deserts to abandon us or shut us down with a closed door. God opens doors for us. He is the ultimate gentleman. Sometimes we cannot see the opened door. Sometimes we don’t even think the door exists.

 In this case, the door did not exist as far as human understanding. God had a bigger plan. He was not leading the Israelites in vain. God lead them to the Red Sea, a massive body of water. Once they got there the Israelites faith really began to deplete. But, God in His amazing power told Moses to lift his staff to the Red Sea and with that the Sea began to part. God made a door. He parted a sea and made a way for the Israelites to walk through. On each side was a wall of water and between the two was a walk way. God makes paths for us. Let’s live our lives in faith that God is a God who parts seas for us and makes a way even when we cannot see it. God opens doors that do not even exist. He is the God of impossibility because with Him all things are possible. Whatever you are facing, wherever you are wondering…. Listen to the small still voice behind you saying “This is the way; walk in it” (Is. 30:21). God will open doors for you in its appointed time. Do not waver like the Israelites…. Be firm. Have faith and trust Him. He is on your side. Walk toward open doors even when you don’t see them.

In your unfailing love you will lead the people you have redeemed.

In your strength you will guide them to your holy dwelling. – Exodus 15:13

the cost is your life

When I traveled to Bangkok and walked the streets of one of the most notorious red light districts in the world the verse that continually resounded in my mind was John 1:5. “the light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it”. Outreach this week started with three gunshots… about a street away. It was an interesting tone to start the night off. The next place we went to was a crack house, which is not unusual for us but the gentleman that walked out was an unfamiliar face… I had a moment where I thought “okay this is it… I’m probably going to die” which then followed by praying for this man and looking him into the eyes and telling him that Jesus loves him…..and not dying. The next stop we heard from a sister that her son was gunned down two weeks prior on the street we were standing on. It was a heavy start to the night. It is interesting how we can get lost in focusing on the good that comes with Christ, the easy, the peace, the joy… but there is also a cost to following Jesus and carrying the Cross daily. The cost is your life. Doing outreach can be dark. You truly never know what each outing will bring or what will happen. What I do know is that no matter what comes our way God is on our side, God is our protector, and if I die of anything I pray that it is while I am bringing others closer to Him. As believers we are not called into this cushiony life that is easy and safe… we are called to make disciples, no matter the cost. We are called to give until it hurts like Jesus did. We get the cushiony life and the easy safe life once we are in Heaven for all of eternity. But I can say this; the darkness never overcomes the light. As heavy as this night was we did end up at a house filled with beautiful children who All Worthy of Love was able to bless with an abundance of Christmas presents and the joy that beamed from this home overcame all the darkness we had just encountered. This one home shined so brightly. The light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it. If you are in Christ Jesus and believe that Jesus died for your sins and rose from the dead and is now alive in Heaven seated at the right hand of the Father and is coming back again….. then YOU are this light we found in this home. You are the light that is not overcome by the darkness. You are. We are. But only because He is.

revitilization

Last night I was hanging with my sweet roommate and we were discussing how wild this last year has been. As December creeps in on us (tomorrow) as does the close of the year. 2012 has been such a huge blessing! I have continually seen the goodness of the Lord prevail in all circumstances and I have witnessed His love and His beauty in so many different areas, situations, and events. Over the last year or so my feet have touched ground in Orlando, Vegas, Haiti, Miami, Japan, Thailand, New Jersey, New York, Washington DC, Amsterdam, Florence, Rome, and most importantly, Detroit City. I have been so blessed to travel and see so many things and meet so many different people. Everywhere I go I see the Lord’s beauty. I see the Lord’s goodness. I see the Lord’s faithfulness…in the good, the trials, the lows, and the unknown…He has been so faithful. I have learned that God truly does bring all things to completion. I have watched a City sprout into a re-birth and I’ve been a part of a Community that is hungry and eager to be a part of that revitalization and restoration. I have laughed, cried, loved, hurt, and experienced life. What a joy it is to feel. I cannot express the gratitude I have for my Church community and just how loving and supportive of a family they have been. I have watched a ministry (All Worthy of Love) grow and I’ve witnessed miracles and growth on the streets. The last 12-18 months have been so abundant but truly they have all lead me back to right where I am… in the City of Detroit. Loving out my faith. Dreaming to reality. Not just seeking to witness revitalization, to desire revitalization, but to deeply be saturated in being a part of revitalization…. In Detroit and in my community of friends. I eagerly anticipate the goodness of December and the next year. May it be His will and His Kingdom on Earth as it is in Heaven in my life, your life, and in this City.

Come

“Come now, let us settle the matter,” says the Lord. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.  – Isaiah 1:18

 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest.” – Matthew 11:28

 “Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost.” – Isaiah 55:1

 “Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus.” – Matthew 14:29

 “The Spirit and the bride say, “Come! “And let the one who hears say, “Come!“ Let the one who is thirsty come; and let the one who wishes take the free gift of the water of life. – Revelation 22:17

God presents us with an invitation.

He is saying ..come..

Rambled heart strings.

I opened my eyes yesteday morning and the first thing I saw was my computer screen saver, it read “Reach the lost – No matter the cost”

My heart is heavy as I write this…. Someone needs to share her story. There is no obituary. There is no funeral that we know of. There is no certainty as to how it happened. The only certainty I can wrap my mind around and the brokenness I feel in my heart is that the last encounter we had with her she knew that Jesus loved her and as we wrapped our arms around her and prayed over her chains were broken.

I met her one of my first times out on the streets with 70x7… she was so hesitant to come near our van, she didn’t want prayer and she didn’t want to talk. Each week that we saw her she would come a little closer toward the van, soon she would let us pray over her, and sometimes she would let us in to a little of her world. I remember seeing her for the first time and saying “that girl is hard” and Jaime responded “No, she is broken.”  I’ve written about her on this blog numerous times…. She is the girl I wanted to take home with me. She is the girl that kept me awake at night…. often. Each week she looked a little rougher, a little more broken, a little more hurt… the streets were killing her slowly. As time progressed so did her trust in us. She started to come to the window of the van and would share some prayer requests…most always for safety. She then let us get out of the van and hug her. We were there when she was scared. We were there when she got out of jail. We were there after she was beat up and raped. We were there when she got out of rehab and was clean from heroine. We were there when she wanted prayer and we were there when she needed a comforting hug. We were there.

Words fail me…they don’t do justice. Our team loved her. It is easy to recall the last six months of the moments we met with her… but the last two encounters are embedded on my heart. The second to last time we saw her we were on the streets praying with a group of six or seven people and she came running around the corner “can I have one.. Can I have one!!”… Every one of us in the van just started smiling. She was happy to see us; she had been waiting for us. That night she welcomed me out to hug her and pray over her. This was a huge breakthrough. The following week we were out and we ran into our beloved… she had been drinking and was the most talkative we ever saw her. Jeana got out of the van and had a 20 minute conversation with her and she began to pour out her heart. She wasn’t using heroine. She just got out of rehab. She hated being on the streets. She wanted out. She felt trapped. She applied for a job at K-Mart. She didn’t know how things got to this point. She was scared. She wanted to be freed. She wanted to be clean. She passed up a friend who was waiting on her because she WANTED prayer. She had plans. She shared she wanted to get married and have kids one day. She wanted a better life. She also shared she felt hopeless and felt like death was her only option…she didn’t want to live anymore if this was all life had for her. She shared how she got on the streets and about the days before. She opened her heart and we offered her Jesus. Jeana wrapped her arms around her and prayed over her.

Last night we were stopped at the spot she usually is at. We prayed with a few people and then he came over…we asked him where she was and he said “She is no longer with us”…. He went on to share that she died from an overdose. My heart sank. I was numb. I couldn’t move. It seemed like so many people were coming to the van, more than ever in this spot and I felt like I was stuck in time and just couldn’t focus. Even one of the girls on the streets asked if we were okay. As everyone left the van and we rolled up our window our van was silent. I just broke down in a deep cry. The pain was unreal. It was like someone just told me my relative died. I buried my head in my arms and said “Donna you’re gonna have to coach me through this… I don’t know how I get my head back in the game after this”… she said “you don’t….”.

I felt like last night was God saying “do you really know what you are saying yes to” and then showed us a glimpse… the cost is worth it and her death is a reminder of the importance that these girls need to know they are loved and that Jesus Christ died for them. Jaime and I drove home together, a rather quiet drive… we sat in the car in silence and listened to ‘Finish what you started’ by Sean Feucht. “Oh my God, You can do anything…and oh my God, nothing is too hard for you… You’re faithful to the end.. You will finish what You started…” God is faithful until the end. He finishes what He starts. He loved her so much that He sent our team to pray with her every week. As much as it grieves my heart to know that I won’t see her any longer… It encourages me to know that we were used to show her Jesus. Our days are fleeting.. Tomorrow is not promised.. and knowing Jesus is the ONLY thing that matters.

I am so blessed to work with such an amazing team and be a small part in such an incredible outreach. I love our team. Our leader, Donna is like a Mom to us… she called last night to check on us and make sure we were okay… The streets aren’t just an outreach; it’s a part of our lives relationally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. As much as it pains me to see her go, I am blessed beyond words that we were able to know her. I can’t imagine not being on these streets. Not building these relationships. Not offering hope. I can’t imagine not having these amazing relationships with these girls. I’m so thankful for our team and that we have the privilege to reach God’s children and offer them hope. I’m thankful that the feet that deliver the good news are beautiful and that we were able to offer her hope, love, and Jesus.  I can’t imagine doing anything different. Reach the lost – no matter the cost.

I am His

Desperate for Your glory to shine

You gave Your life to save mine

Knitted me deep in my innermost being

I feel my heart move and my Spirit agreeing

Laying down all that I am to be all that You are

It should be my hands claimed by a scar

Death couldn’t hold you down

You are the most high deserving the crown

You call me lovely and see the best in me

I am the one you’ve called, I am she

I will rise to fulfill all you have planned

and seek the beauty of the one seated at the right-hand

Plans that will prosper and a life that brings joy

Satan has no hold, nothing in me he can destroy

Use this life for all you will

My joy heightens as you abundantly fill

My worth is found in you alone

Lover of my soul seated on the throne

-LF

from homeless to homeowner

So often we become focused on the victim so much that we lose track of the victimizer. The first night I was in Thailand I found myself looking among all the western men purchasing sex with the most condemning eyes I could. I hated them. I thought those men were the enemy. During our group debrief that night following ministry I asked my team to pray for me because I was really struggling with the men. I had this sisterly/motherly protection come over me that wanted to do whatever I could to keep the young girls safe and in doing so I thought the only way was to exile the purchaser and the supplier. This mindset lasted for a few hours but it has forever changed my perspective. That night my team laid hands on me and I very distinctly remember one of the girls asking the Lord to give me a heart for the men in this industry. My very first time out on the streets with Abide 70x7 I met a man who pretty much runs the neighborhood, drugs, women, you name it. I prayed with this man and since that day I have developed such a heart for him. It’s not just the victim that needs rescued, but rather both the victim and the victimizer. God has really crafted within me a heart to love the victimizer just as much as I love the victim.

It’s really awesome how God has brought Jaime and I together in a sense that we pretty much have one mind. We both have a heart for the men. It is such an honor to serve and do ministry alongside her. Over the last several months the two of us have watched chains of barriers diminish before our eyes as a relationship with this man has unfolded and strengthened. We love him. {We don’t agree with his choices, but we do believe that Jesus Christ died for him and loves him. We also believe that if the victimizer gets saved the culture of that entire neighborhood will see a revival. See, God uses our personality characteristics from our worldly lives in our redemptive lives. This man is a man of power on those streets in a worldly sense but we believe that God will use him to be a man of His power, like Paul in the Bible}

Each week Jaime and I are taken to a deeper level with this man and what it is he ‘does’. Each week new chains are broken and he becomes a little more comfortable sharing with us. Each week he is more open with specific prayer requests. Most recently we have been praying about his lady friend who also works with him and her court order to go to rehab. She is addicted to heroin.  A few years ago the two came together, she was homeless and he was fresh out of jail. Now she is a homeowner and he is in love with her. We have been walking through the events with him that have lead up to the court ordered rehabilitation and he has earnestly asked us to be in prayer for the two of them. Coming off heroin is tough. I don’t speak from personal experience but I do speak on behalf of my friends on the streets that I’ve had the privilege to get to know… heroin is nasty.

Last night Jaime and I walked up to his door and knocked, the lady friend answered the door and invited us inside. Immediately I had peace about entering and so did Jaime. We asked our team leader if it would be okay and she said if our spirits were are peace it was okay. {this is a huge opened door}. We entered. We entered into this man’s house, a new territory, a new level of trust. The two invited us into their living room to sit down and they began to share their heavy, heavy hearts and need for prayer with us. This is light entering darkness. Jaime and I sat there and held their hands as they shared that rehab was happening this week and she was fearful of how terrible it would be to come off the drug that controls her life. The pain he felt knowing she would be alone, hours away fighting for freedom against drugs rocked a grown man who is known for his power on the streets. Two broken people, one hope. So we laid hands on her and prayed deliverance over her life. We encouraged her. Jaime prayed that the blood of Jesus would run through her veins and that every mark heroin ever left on her mind and body would be gone. We assured them that we were in this with them and they were not alone. We got his number {gasps…. Can you believe it}. This is discipleship. This is building relationships. This is all God’s doing. We plan to visit her at the rehab place weekly and disciple her as she goes through this new season of restoration.

psalm.eighty.four.

How lovely is your dwelling place,

    O Lord of hosts!

2 My soul longs, yes, faints

    for the courts of the Lord;

my heart and flesh sing for joy

    to the living God.

3 Even the sparrow finds a home,

    and the swallow a nest for herself,

    where she may lay her young,

at your altars, O Lord of hosts,

    my King and my God.

4 Blessed are those who dwell in your house,

    ever singing your praiser! Selah

5 Blessed are those whose strength is in you,

    in whose heart are the highways to Zion.

6 As they go through the Valley of Baca

    they make it a place of springs;

    the early rain also covers it with pools.

7 They go from strength to strength;

    each one appears before God in Zion.

8 O Lord God of hosts, hear my prayer;

    give ear, O God of Jacob! Selah

9 Behold our shield, O God;

    look on the face of your anointed!

10 For a day in your courts is better

    than a thousand elsewhere.

I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God

    than dwell in the tents of wickedness.

11 For the Lord God is a sun and shield;

    the Lord bestows favor and honor.

No good thing does he withhold

    from those who walk uprightly.

12 O Lord of hosts,

    blessed is the one who trusts in you!

from comfort to courage

I sent out a text this morning to some friends that said "reflecting on Genesis 39:20-21 this morning. Joseph was put in prison and vs 21 says the Lord was with him. Whatever your prison is, emotional or financial strain, anxiety, self doubt or uncertainty, stress, etc., We serve a God who is not turned away by our imprisonment, but rather a God who goes into our prisons with us and delivers us from them. Take heart! The Lord is with you and He will see you through!"

No matter what we are faced with or what prisons we find ourselves in this week, God is with us.  We serve a God who goes into our prisons with us and delivers us from them.  One of my friends responded that comfort zones are prisons, too. This surprised me, I had never thought of my beloved comfort zone as a hindrance in my life. But after thinking on it I came to the conclusion that comfort zones are prisons. God did not create us to develop habits that are self-protecting or constricting, but rather to live a life of abundance.

Satan is really slick to make sure none of us leave our adolescents free from scars or pain. We learn reactions, responses, and are trained to think a certain way. We develop habits that are not easily detectable but constricting all the same. There is this zone that develops around us that we continually nurture and tend to throughout our lives. It’s mostly invisible but its attack is deep. It’s our comfort zone.

The comfort zone is a behavioral state within which a person operates in an anxiety-neutral condition, using a limited set of behaviors to deliver a steady level of performance, usually without a sense of risk (White).

The word ‘comfort’ sparks a renewing emotion of safety, but it is actually the opposite. The title of the zone itself is deceitful. Comfort zones are hindrances. They keep us from fully engaging in life. Most of our zones are deeper than the initial thought; they are trained beneath our level of consciousness. They are stumbling blocks into new seasons of restoration. They are expectations that clog our vision when newness is brought about. They are chains that keep us in one place, in one mindset, in one thought process. Comfort zones are habits we develop in an effort to self-protect. If we keep doing the same thing we will keep seeing the same results.

If you stay on the shore of the ocean because you are afraid of what rests within the massive body of water you miss the opportunities for the Lord to show you His perfect strength when a wave knocks you down, you miss the freedom from swimming and letting go of barriers that hold you back, you miss the liberating view of a wave that has knocked you down come to an end. Waves cannot go on forever, they are fleeting and unpredictable, but they are not constraining. We cannot go through life in an effort to avoid mistakes or failures; we miss out on the thrill of recreating. We cannot remain in prisons of fear. We were made for more than that. Get off the shore, jump into the ocean.

So what is your comfort zone? What do you gravitate toward when times are rough? What would you do if you ditched your comfort zone? Take heart! God goes into these prisons with us and allows us to come as we are and leave as He is. Take your comfort zone and turn it into a courage zone.
You are more than a conqueror.

comfort

Comfort me here as I lay at Your feet

Speak to my heart, I am Yours to keep

When this life seems to spin so fast

Fix my eyes on You and not the past

Meditate Your truths upon my heart

I’m anxious Lord for a new start

Take my brokenness and my shame

Breathe within me Your blood of fame

Surrendering all I am to be all You are

Jesus, You are my shining star

Cleanse my mind and make me whole

In You alone is peace for my soul

Remind me Lord when I grow faint

That You hold me without restraint

-LF

stop child trafficking now walk

I had this vision the last week of July (2012) of hosting a Stop Child Trafficking Now walk in Detroit. I was in a season of stillness but eager to do something more to bring awareness to the city I live in that human trafficking exists. Initially I thought my agreement to be the Walk Coordinator was for NEXT September…2013. When I realized the walk was for THIS year I sort of panicked…how in the world could I pull off a 5k in 2 months when most coordinators have 12. I had one week to find a venue. Really at that point I just thought, ‘okay Lord, if this is something you want me to do I need you to do it through me’. I envisioned a walk at Belle Isle, being in the City, being in the place that once brought communities and neighborhoods together. I applied to Belle Isle. I applied at a local park. I applied at a local high school. And then silence. The day of the venue deadline, Belle Isle approved me. 

As the weeks progressed and walk day came closer and closer I was blown away at the support I received. The organization Stop Child Trafficking Now based out of NYC truly has the most helpful staff. My contact, Rachel was incredible and the Detroit walk would not have been possible without her consistent support, encouragement, and assistance. I even received promo materials from the Augusta walk coordinator. It was like a small family. The walk day quickly approached and I was blown away at how things came together. I had never coordinated a 5k before, all I knew was I wanted to stand up as a voice for the voiceless and if one person heard that human trafficking exists that didn’t know before than everything was worth it. The night before the walk a few of my girlfriends came over (Jdavis, Hannah, Sara, Jeana, and Erika…thank you!) to help bake & decorate cookies with facts about human trafficking and to make signs for walkers to carry that also had human trafficking facts. The forecast for walk day changed from sunny and 55 to rainy and 45 the day before. I didn’t accept rain… it was not happening. I believed the Lord would cease rain. But, the walk would be rain or shine. Trafficking is not dependent upon the weather, so neither would the walk be.

The day of the walk. It was raining on our way out to Belle Isle at 6am. I just laughed and kept thanking God that it wasn’t going to rain during the event. I was greeted by friends who showed up early to help me set up and before I knew it walkers were piling up. The walk would not have taken place without the help from my friends… I can’t remember a time in my life where I’ve ever felt so loved and so supported. I truly have the greatest friends I could ever ask for. Some people even drove two hours to participate. We started the event with the National Anthem sung by a good friend of mine (thanks, Tim and thanks Brian for the amazing sound!) I shared a little bit about what the walk would look like and shared some statistics about why we were walking. We were walking for the 300,000+ kids that are trafficked in the United States every year. We were walking for the 27 million enslaved. We were walking for the lives that are sold for $90 (not per night, but per life). We were walking for the children. We prayed and then everyone gathered at the starting point. We had a red ribbon to be cut and for me personally this was the coolest part. Two of my closest friends held the red ribbon; I was in the middle of it and facing 75+ people who were holding signs about abolishing slavery and my generation taking a stand that they will not stand for slavery. It brought me so much joy. As I cut the ribbon to release the walkers I shouted “FOR FREEDOM”. It was a moment I hope I never forget.

Photos by: Stephen McGee

In that moment none of the chaos or stress mattered. I was so full of joy and so thankful. My family was all there. My friends were all there. People I didn’t even know were there (so rad). Channel 4 News was there. It was amazing. It didn’t rain once the whole time we were on the Island..not one drop! We had 94 participants registered for the walk and over $3400 raised (still 11 more days to fundraise). I had some awesome team captains, Hannah, Robin, Jeana, and Erika who all helped make this event happen.

 

 The walkers came back fast and everyone gathered in the seating in front of the stage. This was exactly the vision I had in July and had no idea this venue even had seating. I knew this was the moment God had prepared me for. I shared my heart on why I fight for freedom, I shared about Stop Child Trafficking Now, about my time in Thailand and in Detroit, and most importantly I commissioned the entire group to take a stand against slavery and to not just let this event be a one day movement but a lifestyle change of being an abolitionist. 

Anyone of you who are reading this can make a difference in this world… you were destined to.

Human trafficking is real and awareness is our greatest tool in putting a stop to it. There are more slaves today than ever before in history. It’s time to rise up as a generation and take a stand as one voice, together, and combat trafficking. Now. This is just the beginning. Next year’s goal is $25k and 500 walkers.

SCTNowDetroit - Our first walk was amazing! Thank you to everyone who walked for freedom. Thank you volunteers, you made the day happen! Keep fighting. Keep pushing. Keep dreaming. You are all world changers and modern day abolitionists. Let's be a generation that stands up as a voice for the voiceless!

For freedom,

Lindsey



beautiful feet.

Every week before I hit the streets I jam to this song…

Carlos was born in killa cali/ was walking down an alley/ he caught a bullet in his head that left him bleeding badly. He lost everything at that moment except his life/ he lost his hearing, lost his movement and he lost his sight/ he laid there in a coma/ but man nobody cared/ the Gospel preached in his neighborhood? Nobody dared/ But los got up out the coma got and was able to hear/ a missionary shared the gospel to his open ears/ He got saved got trained got discipled/ back to the hood/ you could find em preaching the bible/ He led a homie to Christ from his same hood/ part of Church plant/ come on now aint his name good/ This is blessing but I'm stressing that this is not the norm/ we need leaders and believers to help carry it on/ but who would minister in a sinister part of town/ I pray if Jesus is calling you that you would be found/Eric used to go to bible study as a kid/ he got older and started doing what the hood did/ a rival gang caught him slippin tried to take his life/ but then the gun jammed up so them beat him nice/ he woke up in the hospital singing bible songs/ praise God he had a place to learn the bible from/ but then he gets saved and wanna preach Christ they make him change his whole culture and whole way of life/ he gotta get him a bachelors wear a suit and tie/ go to seminary/ by then all of his boys will die/ Jesus came to invade culture outta Nazareth and used a couple fisherman who people saw as hazardous/ the feet are beautiful if only they'd go/ if nobody in the hood preaching how will they know?/ Eric is better used taught trues in his context/ somebody please plant a church in his projects./ In Luke 4:16 on down to 21 Jesus says he's messiah says he's the chosen one But more than that he quotes Isaiah/ that shows our savior targets oppressed captive blind and the broke I'm saying/ He had a heart for the poor had a heart for the low/ and 1st John 2:6 is way we should go/ In Deuteronomy even tho they under the law/ the tithes every third year the poor got em all/ I ain't sayin you wrong if you live in burbs/ Im sayin turn your attention to the hood cause we hurting/ man if you ain't burdened please pick up your word an/ tho this world is going down while we here we can serve him/ we bring this to the streets because we knew the streets/ I pray that more would be burdened to have beautiful feet/ you never knew the streets but truth is what you preach/ I pray to God you'd be burdened for beautiful feet. Go, go, go (run with those beautiful feet) Go, go, go You hold the truth that saves so run and shout it to the world They can't believe in something they ain't never heard Go, go, go and run with those beautiful feet - Lecrae "Beautiful Feet"

Part 2 of Reunite

Stop here if you have not read the previous post “Reunite – Guest Post” – go read that first and then come back…. This is a LONG post, but you should read it... I mean it... read the whole thing!

“I didn’t ask for this testimony, I wouldn’t wish it on anyone….but I have it and I will use it for the Glory of God” –Jeana Johnson

Sitting here in preparation to capture what took place on Monday night (October 8, 2012) sends chills up my spine and tears in my eyes just thinking about it… Jaime is my best friend and she has an incredible testimony. Jaime’s brother passed away almost two years ago from a heroin overdose. It is a life event that I so desperately want to be able to walk through and offer words of encouragement for her but it is also a life event that I thankfully cannot relate to. As the friendship between Jaime and I continued to grow I began praying that the Lord would send someone into her life that would be able to talk and relate to losing a sibling and be a friend to Jaime in a way I could not. As you read in the post Jaime wrote, the first night we ran into the familiar face was also the same night Jeana shared about her brother, Jonathon. Sitting in the 70x7 van as I overheard Jeana and Donna talking about Jonathan I was shocked, saddened, and over-joyed at the same time. Jeana’s brother passed away around the same time Jaime’s brother passed away. Mark and Jonathan were the same age and the cause of death was the same. I stared at Jaime and I knew this was a direct answer to a prayer I had prayed. Jaime remained silent and made no mention of Mark. Shocked and with mixed emotions she was speechless. In the coming weeks I was very adamant about praying the two would talk. I nudged Jaime to contact Jeana. I nudged Jeana to contact Jaime. I trusted when they did talk it would be in His perfect timing.

I begin with stating the above as an interlude into how the stories of Jaime and Jeana’s testimonies played such a huge role in part two of running into the girl Jaime mentions in her post.

We met at our usual spot on Monday evening, October 8^th and gathered in a circle united by hands and prayed that the Lord would have His way as we ventured out to love on our sweet sisters on the streets. I had prayed and shared with the team that I was really hoping not to run into the girl that Jaime and I had prayed with the Monday before…. I was really hoping she would have got on a plane to South Dakota for rehab. I didn’t want to see her, seeing her meant she was still on the streets and heroin was still flowing through her veins. I didn’t want to see her, seeing her meant a whole week had gone by that she was still living day to day, or hit by hit. But, if she had not got on that airplane I prayed the Lord would put her in my path. About an hour into our night we saw two young people walking on the opposite side of the road… Jeana pointed them out and we both thought it was someone it wasn’t. We turned around and pulled up to the two of them… my heart sank as I rolled down the window, it was her. I literally got out of that van like my pants were on fire and wrapped my arms around her and hugged her. I met her friend and we talked and talked. We don’t give out personal cell phone numbers on the streets, D has a ministry phone number for the girls to contact…. But, I gave her my number, which is not something I would normally do. I told her that Jaime and I were grabbing dinner later that night and to contact me if she and her friend wanted to come. Her friend seemed interested, she didn’t. I think she was embarrassed to see me and ashamed that she was not at rehab.

We went on with our night and prayed with other amazing women on the streets and shared the love of Christ in each encounter. The night came to a close and Jaime met up with Jeana and I. The girl texted me and said “Hey! Wanted you to have my number! Thanks for the invite, we will let you know”. Momma D shared solid wisdom with us about the potential dinner date. She also prepared us to not be disappointed if things didn’t work out and encouraged us. We purchased two hot ciders and headed out to the neighborhood to drive up and down the main drag. Jeana and Jaime finally talked. The testimonies of Mark and Jonathan filled our car. Their legacies were tangible. The two connected on such a deep hurt but both with such a beautiful hope that the Lord would turn their hurt into beauty…He already has. I just sat there in the front seat, silent. I was praying like a mad woman. Persistent that she would text me again. I was so thankful the two were sharing with each other and I knew God was answering specific prayers I had prayed……but I really wanted my phone to buzz with a text message. I began to think 35 minutes into driving that she was not going to text me for dinner. I began to think all that everything taking place was so that Jaime and Jeana could talk and it was not even about going to dinner with the two girls. I thought maybe when they were finished sharing then I would receive a text message.

We ended up heading back to our meeting spot, no text message. I sort of lost hope. The conversation between Jaime and Jeana came to a close and there were a few moments of awkward silence and waiting and then it happened…. “Hey! Is it too late to grab a bite to eat”…she texted. My heart nearly leaped out of my body. God is so good and His timing is so perfect. Not only was the night about the two connecting and sharing their stories, but it was also about dinner! Double portions! We headed out to pick up the two girls and as we sat in the car awaiting their arrival I prayed with Jeana and Jaime and asked the Lord to remove any expectations from us, to remove any pre-existing motives, that we would befriend these two girls and offer them a night of fellowship and love, that we would just get to know each other and share life with each other…

We headed out for pizza and sat down and didn’t get back up for 3 hours. I know the team at 70x7 realizes what a rare opportunity this is, but for everyone else, having an opportunity to meet two girls off the street for dinner is not common. Our conversation was amazing. We shared our lives together. We laughed A TON! We talked about Mark and about Jonathan. The girls were so honest and it was an amazing learning experience. I’m not sure how it was brought up but the fact that I lived in Texas came up… I shared that in the beginning I did a lot of bad stuff but it became one of the best times of my life. One of the girls then asked what I meant by bad stuff. It was a sweet opportunity to share my testimony. I shared one of my defining moments, my first time serving the homeless community of Austin. A young man came up to me and handed me a fully loaded crack pipe. The man said he didn’t want to live that way anymore and wanted to get his life straight and asked me to pray for him. In that moment I thought if this man who has nothing but the clothes on his back can give up this drug then I can give up all the junk in my life that is hindering me from a life that is honorable to Christ. One of the girls was 23 years old and we learned that we have mutual friends. I cannot even imagine the life she lives on those streets. The girls shared with us that this was the first normal thing they had done in over six months and they could not remember the last time they sat down to eat a meal.

There was never a moment of us and them. There was never a moment of a light shining on their sin and not ours. We were all the same. We were becoming friends. We shared the love of Christ and talked about how Jesus set us free. The two of them desperately want to be free from addiction and get off the streets. I see visions of them sitting down to eat with us again one day… but in my visions they are both healthy and full of life, free from addiction, and setting people free on the streets of Detroit. Death is not easy and as Jeana said, she wouldn’t wish the testimony of losing a brother on anyone, but she has it, Jaime has it, and they both want to use it for the glory of God. The connection to meeting this girl is Mark. Jaime’s brother use to get high with her. If it weren’t for Mark’s life I do not believe that anything would have transpired further than our weekly prayer with this girl. The Lord has used Mark’s life to pave a path for us to reach into a community and relate on a personal level.

Please pray that these two girls go to separate rehab facilities. They’ve tried together and it didn’t work. Please pray that rehab comes soon. Please pray for freedom over their lives and for protection. Please pray that we continue to have an open door with the two of them and that the discipleship that birthed on Monday night would be the beginning to these girls’ testimonies. Give thanks to the Lord for the ministry of 70x7, I firmly believe this ministry is the hands and feet of Jesus Christ

Reunite - Guest Post

I couldn't have put the following night into better words... Below is a post written by my dearest friend Jaime and a night that changed our lives....

She was the girl we met the very first time I went out with the 70x7 prostitution street ministry. She was a white girl. Short hair. Eerily familiar. She was on my side of the van so my window was down and as Donna prayed for her, I just stared at her. Deep desperation ran through her eyes. Broken. Exhausted. Waiting for the next hit. But I KNEW her. How?

We parted ways, she went one way and we drove another way. The moment we hit the end of the street I knew, She was friends with my brother. My brother, who almost two years ago, died of a heroin overdose. My brother, raised in Troy, Michigan - as suburbs as they come. They were friends. I thought to myself, there is no way. She looked too different. Way too different. I graduated with her brother. Good friends with her brother actually. I knew the heavy set, bleached out hair girl. Not the short brown haired, skinny girl wearing raggedy clothes and an old pair of tennis shoes. My heart broke. I was so shook up.

Last night we went out again. When we finished Lindsey and I were not ready to be done, so we got dropped at our cars and went out again. Before this happened we prayed and asked God to show us specific things we needed to know about the people we should find. Our treasure hunt. Among other things REUNITE was on our list . We stopped at a coney island to find a "bridgette" on our list. No dice. So we drive on our way and just outside the coney island is a woman waiting to be bought. We were going to stop and noticed it was the crazy lady we prayed for earlier so Lindsey said, "keep driving." Then we see the girl next to her. Grey ragged shirt, brown scraggily hair, a huge mess. I thought to myself and maybe out loud, "Wait, is that a boy or a girl?" She turns to face us and my immediate response out loud was, "Oh crap , she's the one." Lindsey thinking nothing says, "Hi! We are from the prayer van, we don't have food but we would like to pray for you."

I’m looking into her eyes and my heart is pounding and my hands shaking. Before she answers Lindsey, I look her in the eyes and I point, "What is your last name?" Without hesitation she answers me with the last name I expected to hear. I almost lost it. I fumbled for my seat belt, dropped some choice words, covered my mouth as I cannot believe what just came out of it and ran around the back of my car to her.

I look her dead on and with a hand over my heart I say, "I am Jaime Davis. I am Mark Davis's sister."

"Oh. Crap," She says. Her heart sinks. My heart sinks. I grab her and pull her away from the car and we hug forever it seemed. She cried. I cried. My whole body shook. I couldn't even believe who I was holding in my arms, rubbing her back, feeling her boney spine with my hand.

"How are you? Does your family know what's happening? Are you working the streets? How are you? How are you? Tell me everything"

She explains she's been waiting for her girlfriend for over an hour now. She hasn't come back yet. She is planning on going to rehab in a couple days. She spoke with her family not too long ago and sometimes she works the streets. She has to. There is no other way. We get in my car and I pray some more for her. We talk. "Do you want to be free from this?"

"Everyday"

After Lindsey asks about the relationship she had with my brother she told us, "He was the first person I got high with."

Followed by a mumbled

"It was the hardest funeral I've ever been too."

We prayed for her. We prayed the chains of addiction would be broke. The scars on her arms would be gone. Every area she ever stuck a needle would be healed in the name of Jesus. The blood in her body would run clean and Jesus would replace it with His. That She would never desire another high. That she would have the strength to walk away and to get on the plane to South Dakota and start fresh. That this night would be the first day of the rest of her life. We called out the destiny and purpose for her life.

We prayed three times with her and every time we were done she was wiping away her tears. Lindsey told her she had a vision as we prayed the last time of her living in a nice house, with a family and a husband, with money. That blessings are coming her way.

Lindsey gave me twizzlers I never even intended to eat. And so she, starving, gladly accepted our twizzlers with a, "yeah I want those, I’m fu**ing starving." She got out of the car. I hugged her again, "I Love you. If you need anything call me. Today is a new beginning, I fully believe that." As we drove away, Lindsey looks at me with brokenness and says, "How does someone from Troy, Michigan end up in a place like this??"

Today as I was praying for her, this verse came to me, Hosea 2:14

 “Therefore, behold, I will allure her,

 and bring her into the wilderness,

 and speak tenderly to her" 

"And there I will give her her vineyards

and make the Valley of Achore a door of hope.

And there she shall answer as in the days of her youth,

as at the time when she came out of the land of Egypt."

Verse 14 is hers. If you read this, that is what you pray over her. She will walk out of the darkness. Lindsey told me last night that me REUNITING with her gives her hope beyond belief. It reminds her of what will happen if she doesn't get clean. My brother's memory will be a lasting impression of why she needs to get better. My brother through his weakness can be her strength.

Lord give her the strength to move on. Supernaturally intervene. This God - His way is Perfect

Obedience.

For no prophecy was ever produced by the will of man, but men spoke from God as they were carried along by the Holy Spirit. – 2 Peter 1:21

Over the weekend I witnessed more miracles than I can count. The Holy Spirit is alive and active.

I attended a spiritual awakening conference and it was life changing. When I first walked into the conference I saw this couple sitting in front of me and I thought “wow, they would have a really good looking child”… strange, right? About an hour later I got a word laid on my heart, ‘infertility’. My intial reaction was ‘wow, God, that is a really tough word’…. It came again. Then ‘I’m going to give you a child’ came. Okay. So a tough word and then hope. I prayed discernment… I knew the word was for the couple I had saw when I first walked in, but how scary to walk up and tell them “heyyyy…so the Spirit told me you are struggling with infertility butttt God says He is going to give you a child”. Again, the word came. So out of obedience and faith I walked up to the couple and introduced myself and asked if they had any children. The woman’s eyes began to water as she responded that they did not. I proceeded to share that I felt like the Lord told me they were struggling with infertility but He was going to give them a child. The woman began to cry. They didn’t say much and I began to feel a little panicked. What if I just spoke death into a womb? But peace washed over me and the couple thanked me for being obedient. They ended up speaking life into me and sharing that my obedience would give life to others. About an hour or so later the couple was heading out to leave and walked over to me and apologized if they did not seem receptive toward the word I shared. The two then proceeded to tell me that they had been struggling with infertility for seven years. Biblically the seventh year is the year of completion. I reiterated that God wanted to give them a child. The two left. A little while later this young man I had not met before came up to me and pointed at me straight in my face and said “you are a woman of obedience” I smiled and said “I receive that”. He proceeded to share that the couple I gave the word to were his youth pastors and he practically begged them to come to the conference. That evening was the only evening they were able to make the conference but came because this young man told them that God had a word for them. Haha. So wild.  

speak life over your life.

Restoration.

As I enter yet again, a new season of my life I want to enter it joyfully and with expectation that the Lord is going to rock my life. Over the weekend I attended a spiritual awakening conference led by Kevin Dedmon out of Bethel Church in Redding, CA. Something that Kevin said over the weekend really impacted me and I found myself as the person in church saying “yes…that is me”. Kevin said “people know what is wrong with them. They need to know what is right with them”. I have learned that when you speak life, life happens and when you speak death, death happens. It’s funny how we are blinded to those who speak death into our lives and we subconsciously become submissive and receiving toward the negative they speak toward us. I’ve had negative words spoken into my life as long as I can remember. A woman spoke over me during the conference that I have been trained all my life to be manipulated by men but God is saying no more. I’ll amen to that and agree, no more. For too long people close to me have spoken death into my life making me believe I am less than I am. The Lord is revealing His truths about who He is creating me to be and who I am in Christ Jesus.. I rebuke the death spoken over me, the lies fed into my life and I am choosing to forgive the tongues that spoke them because my God is greater. The cool thing about God is that He lets us come as we are and leave as He is.

Mind restoration, speak life over your life. You are far too treasured to allow death to come anywhere near your identity in Christ.

remember

A few notes I’ve written down this morning….

-Remember. God loves YOU.

-Remember. Though you may fall 100 times… the Lord will uphold you.

-Remember. You are blessed and highly favored.

-Remember. The Lord wants to lavish His goodness upon you today.

-Remember. The Lord will do exceedingly more than you can think or imagine.

-Remember. You are not your past and it does not define you.

-Remember. You are dead to sin and alive in Christ Jesus.

light in darkness

Last night we went out for our weekly ministry in Detroit. Each week the of reality of affliction and slavery becomes more and more relevant to me. We meet with so many broken people who are hurting and crying out for love. We are so blessed to be able to provide prayer and to share a glimpse of hope in such a broken area. Last night we met with a sister who moved out of the neighborhood and is clean from drugs. This is the type of story we pray for and hope for.

In the middle of the neighborhood last night I saw the most beautiful sunflower. It was large and bursting with vibrant shades of yellow. It was new life that had sprouted in the middle of a war zone. All around was brokenness and pain…but this sunflower was a glimpse of hope. A reminder that the darkness does not overcome the light and that God is greater!!!

the cost

Last night I decided to start reading “God in a Brothel” by Daniel Walker again. Post Thailand everything just seems different. I was reading Walker’s words about how he would have run in the opposite direction when he stepped up to fight for freedom if he knew then what he knew now. I couldn’t help but relate. I wept at the end of chapter three. Just thinking of how hard it really is and the big picture of what I am getting myself into. I’m sad to share my friend that I wrote about yesterday who was left for dead with her throat slit passed away. I’m thankful she is in Heaven. And if you don’t think God loves the prostitute (or prostituted) let’s have coffee. I’m thankful that she is no longer going to be disrespected. I’m thankful that she is resting in eternal glory and being lavished with the love she so desperately searched for here on earth. I’m thankful she no longer knows the hell she lived in while on earth. I’m thankful that God is wiping away the tears from her eyes and telling her how loved she is. I’m thankful that Heaven is real.

I never really thought about how hard it would be… I knew that my heart broke for injustice but the sorrow and despair I would endure on account for the broken was not something I envisioned in this walk. I’m thankful I know what it is to hurt for God’s people and I’m thankful I had the opportunity to pray with my sweet sister the weeks leading up to her reunion with Christ. I sat in my bed last night and asked God if I really knew what I was getting myself into. Did I really understand all that encompassed saying ‘yes’? Do I truly grasp the hurt of these streets? Am I strong enough to sit down and have conversations and hear about the horror innocent women are enduring? Is He sure He called the right person? And the answer to all of that is –yes-. God is stronger. God is greater. He that is in me is greater than he that is in this world. I refuse to be like the one who knows about the evil and yet does nothing.

Human Trafficking is real. It is hell on earth. And for some crazy reason I want to continue fighting for freedom because I know that God’s love is worth sharing and that these precious souls who are trapped are worthy of FREEDOM. I woke up this morning with a fight still in me. I am reminded that no matter how hard, how difficult, how painful, how tragic this fight is…… the cost is worth it. I am reminded of my decision to follow Christ Jesus and similar to His love for me…..that decision is unconditional.

shaken to the core.

I cannot recall a time in my life where I was ever so shaken to my core. And as much as my first impulse is to get it out of my mind and not to think about what took place last night, I can’t. The fear that trembled as each girl retold the same story that took place the night before. The hopelessness in their eyes and deep desire to be removed from their current situation paralyzes me. Eighteen minutes, 14.6 miles from my front door is a man rapping women and slitting their throats. When I first began serving the prostitution community there was a rapist going around and leaving young women to die in abandon fields smothered in a pool of blood from their slit throat. The first week I went out to serve there was three women found dead within the last week. Months have since passed and I’ve begun to build relationships with these women. I recognize them. I know their ‘names’. There is no stronger relationship than one built on the saving grace of Jesus Christ and that is exactly what we have built with these women. We pray with them, cry with them, and hurt with them.

But last night changes everything. A woman I know, someone’s daughter, someone’s friend, a beautiful young woman was found Sunday night in an abandoned house brutally beaten with a 2x4, raped, and left to die in a pool of her own blood flowing from the large slit across her throat. Each girl told us the same story and each girl said they did not know her last name so no one could go visit her in the hospital. It’s so much like Thailand; these girls have street names, heck I don’t even think any of us know their real names. Can you imagine transitioning into a life where you are not only abused, taken advantage of, raped, and the like but then you have you identity removed, too? Can you imagine someone calling you by a number? Can you imagine someone calling you a different name than the name you’ve been called all your life? No one can visit this girl because no one knows her real name. This breaks me.

Devastated to hear the news, we continued on to our next friend. I would have to say that of all the woman we meet with and pray with, this one has captivated my heart in a way I can’t explain. I see right through her hard exterior. I see her pain. I see her hurt. And as my friend said, she has no idea how to function anymore she is so hurt. It is as if she is lifeless. I was in the van the first night we came across this young girl and even then she was fearful to come to us. These streets are NO place for young women. I’ve watched her over the last several months continue to withdraw more and more from us, more and more from life. She is broken. Usually she is timid to come to us for prayer but last night she was completely different. Fear was consuming her. She was afraid to come near us. Afraid to talk to us. Afraid to let us pray for her. Afraid to let us hug her. She had just been raped by two men at the same time and pistol whipped in her head. Blood covered her open wound on the top of her head from where the pistol landed. And all I can think is please let me hold you. Please let me hug you and take you home with me. Please let me cover you in love. Please let me wash your feet. Be my family. Come with me. I want to scream YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN THIS! YOU DESERVE MORE THAN THIS! GOD LOVES YOU!

Another girl we spoke with had an encounter with the same man over the weekend. He got her naked and raped her in his car. When she fought him he cut her leg up with his knife, opened the car door, and pushed her out of the car while moving…she was naked. I could pour out my guts on this keyboard in despair and anger. Can you even fathom being treated like such a piece of garbage?

We located the van that is allegedly responsible for all you’ve just read. We followed him for blocks until we were close enough to write down his license plate number and description of his van. We then wrote it down and passed out copies to all the girls we could find and told them to stay far away.

Words do not suffice the anguish in my heart today as I write this. 14.6 miles from my front door.

The devil thinks this neighborhood is his playground….. well my response is this: Let our names be feared at the gates of hell as we exalt the Savior and redeem what BELONGS to the LORD! The darkness HAS NOT overcome the light. We need to wake up world. Human trafficking is not a third world problem. It’s a Detroit, Michigan problem. It’s a EVERYWHERE problem. Our war is NOT against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. These girls are worthy of love. They need to know how much Jesus loves them. They need to know that there is hope. They need to know that this is not what they deserve. They need to know that Heaven is real. That Jesus Christ is real. That He loves them with an everlasting love that can never be shaken. Oh dear God, please save my sisters, please rebuke and convict the heart of this man on the streets and lead him to salvation, Lord please deliver the brokenness of my sisters, and God please use me to whatever capacity You will. Send laborers, Lord……. Help me to love these girls like You do. Open doors to remove them from the streets. Protect them, in Jesus name.

forty

I’ve come to learn that restoration can only be made complete when our hearts desire it more than just knowing it is what we ‘should’ be striving toward. When you get to the point of utter brokenness and you are on your knees just crying out to God and asking Him to make you whole and heal you. Praise God for the gift of today! Countless second chances have been given at the Cross. Today I completed reading the entire bible. I finished in 39 days (started a day late) but finished today the finale of our season of forty.

I can’t even comprehend words to describe the praise that is in my heart and the joy that is consuming every inch of my being. I am forever changed and it is all to His credit. Reading never felt like a chore or that it was forced. I wanted it so badly. I wanted healing in my life so badly. I wanted restoration so badly. God met me there in my brokenness and healed every part of me.

The Cross is my victory. Jesus Christ is my healer and I am healed by HIS stripes, by HIS blood!

Joy unspeakable.

Meaning

“When over the years someone has seen you at your worst, and knows you with all your strengths and flaws, yet commits him- or herself to you wholly, it is a consummate experience. To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness, and fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us.” -Timothy Keller

fifteen days.

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate ,

And the Master so gently said, "Wait."

"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.

"My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to WAIT?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.

"And Lord, You promised, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And, Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry:
'I'm weary of asking! I need a reply.'"

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied once again, "You must wait."
So, I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting... for what?"

He seemed, then, to kneel,
And His eyes met with mine,
And He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

"All you seek I could give and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want-----
But, you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint;
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint;

"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there;
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me;
When darkness and silence are all you can 

see.

"You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My Spirit descends like a dove;
You would know that I give and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

"The glow of My comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight,
The depth that's beyond getting just what you asked
Of an infinite God, who makes what you have last.

"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that, 'My grace is sufficient for thee.'
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if I lost what I'm doing in you.

"So, be silent, My child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know Me.
And though oft' may My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still, Wait."

-Wait by Russel Kelfer

Beyond thankful for this season of waiting.... the depths of His heart have been so worth it.