the ninety-nine

Part two.

We started outreach on Monday night with the same prayer we ended Sunday with, “God please don’t let us see her…” – we really wanted her to leave the streets, we really wanted her to pursue the stirring in her heart, we really wanted her to encounter the fullness of God and the abundance He has for her. Seeing her meant she didn’t go to rehab.

From an outsiders perspective one may think this is a simple decision, if you want to get off the streets then you can leave at any time… but it is not like that, not in the slightest. Leaving the streets because you are arrested is easy because you are being forced. Leaving the streets because you are sick is easy because you have no other choice. Leaving the streets because you are choosing to get clean from drugs and because you believe in yourself is not easy. Drugs suck you in, manipulate your mind, control your thoughts, and take power of your will.

If drugs are not enough to keep you the chaos of life is. The streets suck you in and pull you into a whirlwind of self-damnation with a whisper of ‘this is all you are good enough for…’ The streets tell a girl she isn’t worthy and if the streets don’t kill her the drugs will.

We prayed with over forty people Monday night. Stopped at a few crack houses, prayed with drug lords, held hands with hopeless women, heard the desperate cries “I just want off the streets”….

As the sun went down over Detroit and the scarcity of street lights flickered… we hadn’t seen her yet. We drove to the crack house we found her at on Sunday and were greeted by the same man… he asked if we were looking for her again and we said we were…. He walked into the crack house, his voice echoed to the streets as he called her name… but there wasn’t a response… he came out of the house and said “I saw her earlier…. She looked so great, she was all dressed up, her hair was done, she said she was leaving and then she left….”

I love how God works because even in that moment as joyous as our hearts were we saw that the harvest was still plentiful and right in front of us. We asked our new friend what happened to his nose, which was so obviously in poor shape…. He shared he was in an altercation and his right nostril was ‘ripped’ off….. so we prayed over him and asked God to grow that back, to rebuild cartilage, to heal him. We told him we would be back on Monday again and expectantly looked forward to seeing a healed nose. She may have left but new relationships built from her exit. Even when the one sheep comes back… there is still 99 more to tend to…

As we drove off, Jaime and I put in our calendars “_________ left the streets today” with a yearly reminder. A yearly reminder that she is worthy, she is good enough, she has a plan… We have learned that God is stronger than any force of a drug addiction, any force of mind manipulation, any force of control –when He puts something in our hearts nothing can stop us. The one sheep returned, but we still have ninety-nine more...... ninety-nine more sheep that need to know about God's redemptive love... ninety-nine more that have a story to fulfill....

What we couldn’t do for ourselves Christ perfected.

the one

I think one of the sweetest things that AWOL has adopted from Donna’s leadership with 70x7 is that she always began ministry and ended ministry in prayer. Each week before we hit the streets our team unites in prayer with expectant hearts and each night we end outreach with filled hearts because God always goes above and beyond our expectations for the night. I love that His word says He prepares good works in advance for us. It’s so comforting to know that it is Him doing all of this…. Not me, not Jaime, not our team or those who serve alongside us… but HIM.

On Sunday we had plans to meet up with the girl I blogged about here. We showed up at 2pm like arranged and then we waited….and waited… truly the thought of her not showing up didn’t cross my mind. I knew we would see her and my mind was resolved on that. At 2:23pm I looked at Jaime and said that doubt had entered my mind and for the first time I thought we weren’t going to see her that day. So in normal Jaime fashion she said “well duh LF let’s just go find her”. We had no idea where she lived because any time that we had gone to her house it was dark out and after going to multiple houses in one night everything sort of bunches together. So we prayed and asked the Holy Spirit to tell us where she lived. Jaime got a word and so we followed through on it and went looking for her word… two streets later we saw a street sign with the word she got in the name of the street….so we went down it. Very quickly in we realized this street was familiar and we had been on it before…. Then we saw the house and we laughed because last time we knocked on the door to this house we were pretty sure we were going to die. But, we both thought that was the house so we went and knocked on the door. Sure enough, it was her house but she wasn’t home. The woman who answered the door told us to go back to the corner she usually is at and wait for her. So we did.. and nothing.

We had driven around and then driven some more and each time we got to this one specific street I turned right. So on the 4^th or 5^th time down this street Jaime says “LF go straight” so I did, passing my right turn. Then Jaime said “wait…. Didn’t we go to a house on this street once before and she was at a house on the corner down here…. Remember the house that you got out of the van and totally bit it and fell on your butt”…. Yeah I remembered, I also remembered Jaime laughing hysterically at me. We pulled up to the house on the corner and thought we would go knock on the door. A man across the street hollered at us and asked if we were looking for _______ and we said yes and he said she was inside that house. So we knocked on the door, someone answered, opened the door, and then walked away… it was eerie. So the guy said “you want me to go in and get her…. You her family” we said “yeah” so he did… and sure enough she came out. She hugged me and said she loved us so much and was so sorry, but she couldn’t have lunch… She told us she was still planning on leaving the streets for rehab the next day.

We drove off and we had a great peace… I think the day was more about her knowing she was worth going after, worth pursuing, worth looking for. People need to know that they are worthy of love. People need to know that someone cares enough about them to seek them out. People need to know that when they don’t show up that they are missed. People need to know that they are worth the extra mile. Just as God lead us to where she was – He is also leading her to where she is going….

What do you think? If a man has a hundred sheep, and one of them has gone astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine on the mountains and go in search of the one that went astray? Matthew 18:12

We left the neighborhood and our prayer was “God – please don’t let us see her tomorrow night….” because then it would mean she did what she was going to do… it would mean she left the streets, she went to rehab, and she was entering a journey of restoration…

So Monday happened…. Check back tomorrow ;)

she was the impossibility...

God can answer a prayer in an instant. Last night we asked God to put two specific women in our path and immediately after those prayers we saw both women. God can answer a prayer in an instant but the word tells us to pray without ceasing – that means when the answer doesn’t happen immediately you keep knocking, seeking, and asking. For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end—it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay. – Habakkuk 2:3.

We see a lot of girls on the streets every week, most we see repeatedly, some once or twice and never again. Some girls we can see every week for a year and still not form a deep relationship with them and some we see continuously for a year and build a connection that is deeper than the one I share with my own neighbor. Some girls grip your heart the second you meet them, their face follows you home, and you find yourself praying for them all the time. There is one girl I met a year ago that I instantly loved the second I first met her. T’was love at first sight if you will. Something about her captivated me and I’ve seen God use her to speak into my life countless times. She is one of the faces we see every week that I take with me off the streets. The whole team loves her. She is the girl that you think will never leave the streets – she is the impossibility.

Last night while driving during outreach I said “Jesusssssss….. it would be SO COOL if you could just put ______ in our path!!!!” one block later… boom. “okay… now you are just showing off”. I jumped out of the car and gave her a big hug and told her how much I missed her and she kept telling us how much she loved us and wouldn’t let go. I think we must’ve hugged for a solid five minutes. As she gripped my arm with her hand and reached her other arm around my neck resting on my shoulder, she began sharing with our team how she tracked down her birth mom and left the streets for the first time on her own terms; she wasn’t arrested, wasn’t in jail, not sick…but wanted to leave. She was clean for four days and the happiest any of us have ever seen her.

She told us she had dreams and couldn’t live like this anymore. She told us she had a story, she had a testimony, that she was a human being and not just a prostitute….. she told us she was worthy of love.

We stood on that street corner for twenty minutes listening to her tell us about God’s restoration in her life. If ever I heard the gospel preached it was in that moment. We listened to her tell us that one day she would be riding around with us praying for the girls. We listened to her tell us that God had a plan for her life. She said she was saying good bye to the streets and hello to a new life. It was hands down one of the best moments of my entire life. Before she left Jaime grabbed her hand and looked her right in the eye and told her that God did have a purpose for her life, that she does have a plan and how much he loves her. She is the impossibility God made possible.

She walked away and I started to laugh and then I started to cry… an hour later our team was still in shock. It always blows my mind to see the Sovereignty of our God. How majestic and wondrous His ways are and how beautiful His plans unfold. God doesn’t see a prostitute or a drug addict, He sees His beloved. A whole year I’ve been praying for her….. for this moment, for last night…. To walk in the freedom God has for her. Glory.

Happy Anniversary AWOL!

Today is the one year anniversary of All Worthy of Love! Today is proof that dreams really do come true.

When AWOL first surfaced I was very hesitant. I did not want to start a ministry. I did not want the responsibility. After hearing the statistic that Americans spend $16 billion dollars on Valentine’s Day to show one person that they are worthy of love while $32 billion dollars a year is spent on the human trafficking industry that shows 27 million people that they are not worthy of love, my life was wrecked. I had heard that slavery still existed, I donated money, participated in awareness campaigns here and there but I was not personally affected. I wonder now how that could have ever been true? I was that person that knew about slavery but chose not to allow it to affect my life. I mean it makes sense, it really is an inconvenience to turn a deaf ear to the reality that there are more slaves today than there ever has been before in history. I use the word inconvenience because when that truth resounds in your heart and truly captures your attention it keeps you up at night, it clouds your mind, it surrounds your thoughts, it breaks your heart and takes you to a depth of grief you otherwise would not know.

I started this Facebook event six days before Valentine’s day 2012 and encouraged my 600 Facebook friends (I mean, I probably knew half of them, right?) to donate to an organization that was abolishing slavery to show all people that they are worthy of love in place of flowers and chocolates for one person. I really did not think anything would come from this. But on the 14^th of February 600 people turned into 7,000…. In six days. The consensus of this event was that the majority of the people invited truly had no idea slavery still existed. It was then that I knew I could never revert back into knowing and doing nothing. God began to break my heart to a level I had never known. I began to grieve for the innocent lives that were robbed. I began to feel the pain of bondage. I began to understand more deeply my Makers heart and the pain He feels for the 27 million. So I said yes. I said yes to be a voice for the voiceless. I said yes to being inconvenienced every day of the rest of my life in order to bring one person out of bondage. I said yes to what breaks God’s heart. I said yes to be a part of the solution. I said yes to whatever God wanted to do with my life. I said yes to stepping out in faith on a dream that all people would know they are worthy of love. I said yes.

It has been the absolute best decision I could have ever made next to saying Yes to the saving grace offered by my Savior, Jesus Christ.

The last year has been incredible. I mean I sit here and laugh at all the greatness that I’ve witnessed. If I have learned anything it is to follow your dreams. No matter what. Follow your dreams. What the world sees as impossible, God sees as possible. Even with that truth, I have felt discouraged and inadequate of making this dream a reality because the world says a twenty something year old cannot change a culturally accepted reality of slavery. The world says a young girl from Detroit cannot make any dent in an evil as large as slavery. But what the world says doesn’t hold a candle to what my God says. Yes, I cannot make a dent in slavery on my own --- but with the help of others who have said yes, we can all make a dent, we can all make a difference.  When I think of AWOL two main factors come to my mind:

1. I cannot do anything apart from God.

2. I can accomplish very little apart from a working with a team and being involved in a community.

So today on the one year anniversary – I am not more excited about today than any other day because I have done anything. I am more excited about today because I have single handedly witnessed God move and use a body to make a change. I have seen lives changed. I have seen girls leave the industry. I have seen lives restored and rescued. I have seen abolitionists rise up and say yes. I have seen girls freed from addiction. I have seen organizations come together rather than work in competition. I know that God is a God of justice and He will not stop until it rolls on like a river.

  

Thank you, Jaime Davis for your support, dedication, and heart to seek justice. Thank you for saying yes. I am so thankful to have you on this team and to have walked through the last year with you. You are an amazing President and AWOL is blessed to have you as a leader. Your audacious spirit and committed heart to loving the broken and breaking the chains of injustice encourage me. Thank you for being my sister, best friend, and ministry partner. I couldn’t imagine walking through the last year without you.

Thank you, Donna McCauley for believing in Jaime and me and welcoming us into the incredible ministry you lead. You have been a huge blessing to the two of us and your wisdom has forever changed us. I have never known a woman so obedient to God and so in love with His people. Because you said yes countless lives have come to know Christ, to know restoration, and to be freed from bondage. I cannot thank you enough for supporting AWOL and mentoring us as we walk in the path God has called us to. I love you Mama D!

To the AWOL team & Board of Directors --- greater things are still to be done – thank you for saying yes and for believing in a vision God gave me and being a part of the solution. Thank you for following God and for being HIS answer to injustice. You are world changers and it is an honor to work alongside you all in the abolition of slavery.

And to everyone that reads this, know these truths and let them resound in your heart -- God wants to use YOU to impact this world and no matter what anyone tells you – hear this, you are a world changer, you have a destiny, and your life serves a divine purpose…. SAY YES.

Rambled heart strings.

I opened my eyes yesteday morning and the first thing I saw was my computer screen saver, it read “Reach the lost – No matter the cost”

My heart is heavy as I write this…. Someone needs to share her story. There is no obituary. There is no funeral that we know of. There is no certainty as to how it happened. The only certainty I can wrap my mind around and the brokenness I feel in my heart is that the last encounter we had with her she knew that Jesus loved her and as we wrapped our arms around her and prayed over her chains were broken.

I met her one of my first times out on the streets with 70x7… she was so hesitant to come near our van, she didn’t want prayer and she didn’t want to talk. Each week that we saw her she would come a little closer toward the van, soon she would let us pray over her, and sometimes she would let us in to a little of her world. I remember seeing her for the first time and saying “that girl is hard” and Jaime responded “No, she is broken.”  I’ve written about her on this blog numerous times…. She is the girl I wanted to take home with me. She is the girl that kept me awake at night…. often. Each week she looked a little rougher, a little more broken, a little more hurt… the streets were killing her slowly. As time progressed so did her trust in us. She started to come to the window of the van and would share some prayer requests…most always for safety. She then let us get out of the van and hug her. We were there when she was scared. We were there when she got out of jail. We were there after she was beat up and raped. We were there when she got out of rehab and was clean from heroine. We were there when she wanted prayer and we were there when she needed a comforting hug. We were there.

Words fail me…they don’t do justice. Our team loved her. It is easy to recall the last six months of the moments we met with her… but the last two encounters are embedded on my heart. The second to last time we saw her we were on the streets praying with a group of six or seven people and she came running around the corner “can I have one.. Can I have one!!”… Every one of us in the van just started smiling. She was happy to see us; she had been waiting for us. That night she welcomed me out to hug her and pray over her. This was a huge breakthrough. The following week we were out and we ran into our beloved… she had been drinking and was the most talkative we ever saw her. Jeana got out of the van and had a 20 minute conversation with her and she began to pour out her heart. She wasn’t using heroine. She just got out of rehab. She hated being on the streets. She wanted out. She felt trapped. She applied for a job at K-Mart. She didn’t know how things got to this point. She was scared. She wanted to be freed. She wanted to be clean. She passed up a friend who was waiting on her because she WANTED prayer. She had plans. She shared she wanted to get married and have kids one day. She wanted a better life. She also shared she felt hopeless and felt like death was her only option…she didn’t want to live anymore if this was all life had for her. She shared how she got on the streets and about the days before. She opened her heart and we offered her Jesus. Jeana wrapped her arms around her and prayed over her.

Last night we were stopped at the spot she usually is at. We prayed with a few people and then he came over…we asked him where she was and he said “She is no longer with us”…. He went on to share that she died from an overdose. My heart sank. I was numb. I couldn’t move. It seemed like so many people were coming to the van, more than ever in this spot and I felt like I was stuck in time and just couldn’t focus. Even one of the girls on the streets asked if we were okay. As everyone left the van and we rolled up our window our van was silent. I just broke down in a deep cry. The pain was unreal. It was like someone just told me my relative died. I buried my head in my arms and said “Donna you’re gonna have to coach me through this… I don’t know how I get my head back in the game after this”… she said “you don’t….”.

I felt like last night was God saying “do you really know what you are saying yes to” and then showed us a glimpse… the cost is worth it and her death is a reminder of the importance that these girls need to know they are loved and that Jesus Christ died for them. Jaime and I drove home together, a rather quiet drive… we sat in the car in silence and listened to ‘Finish what you started’ by Sean Feucht. “Oh my God, You can do anything…and oh my God, nothing is too hard for you… You’re faithful to the end.. You will finish what You started…” God is faithful until the end. He finishes what He starts. He loved her so much that He sent our team to pray with her every week. As much as it grieves my heart to know that I won’t see her any longer… It encourages me to know that we were used to show her Jesus. Our days are fleeting.. Tomorrow is not promised.. and knowing Jesus is the ONLY thing that matters.

I am so blessed to work with such an amazing team and be a small part in such an incredible outreach. I love our team. Our leader, Donna is like a Mom to us… she called last night to check on us and make sure we were okay… The streets aren’t just an outreach; it’s a part of our lives relationally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. As much as it pains me to see her go, I am blessed beyond words that we were able to know her. I can’t imagine not being on these streets. Not building these relationships. Not offering hope. I can’t imagine not having these amazing relationships with these girls. I’m so thankful for our team and that we have the privilege to reach God’s children and offer them hope. I’m thankful that the feet that deliver the good news are beautiful and that we were able to offer her hope, love, and Jesus.  I can’t imagine doing anything different. Reach the lost – no matter the cost.

psalm.eighty.four.

How lovely is your dwelling place,

    O Lord of hosts!

2 My soul longs, yes, faints

    for the courts of the Lord;

my heart and flesh sing for joy

    to the living God.

3 Even the sparrow finds a home,

    and the swallow a nest for herself,

    where she may lay her young,

at your altars, O Lord of hosts,

    my King and my God.

4 Blessed are those who dwell in your house,

    ever singing your praiser! Selah

5 Blessed are those whose strength is in you,

    in whose heart are the highways to Zion.

6 As they go through the Valley of Baca

    they make it a place of springs;

    the early rain also covers it with pools.

7 They go from strength to strength;

    each one appears before God in Zion.

8 O Lord God of hosts, hear my prayer;

    give ear, O God of Jacob! Selah

9 Behold our shield, O God;

    look on the face of your anointed!

10 For a day in your courts is better

    than a thousand elsewhere.

I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God

    than dwell in the tents of wickedness.

11 For the Lord God is a sun and shield;

    the Lord bestows favor and honor.

No good thing does he withhold

    from those who walk uprightly.

12 O Lord of hosts,

    blessed is the one who trusts in you!

comfort

Comfort me here as I lay at Your feet

Speak to my heart, I am Yours to keep

When this life seems to spin so fast

Fix my eyes on You and not the past

Meditate Your truths upon my heart

I’m anxious Lord for a new start

Take my brokenness and my shame

Breathe within me Your blood of fame

Surrendering all I am to be all You are

Jesus, You are my shining star

Cleanse my mind and make me whole

In You alone is peace for my soul

Remind me Lord when I grow faint

That You hold me without restraint

-LF

Identity...

"Your identity and worth is not made up in anyone other than Jesus Christ".

My worth, your worth, all worth comes from the Savior. Worth is not defined by man made accomplishments, man made success. Worth is not lost in failure and it is not intimidated by hurt. Man does not define you, the Cross does.