fourteen days clean

She usually doesn’t say much.. our conversations are primarily minimal and she doesn’t share anything personal with us. We see her from time to time, we see her front, her fake front that she is okay… but we also see beyond that.

Last night she talked, opened up, and expressed she wanted to leave the streets.

Fifteen days ago she was sleeping in her car, her boyfriend went into the store and she was abruptly awakened by a car-jacker who proceeded to stab her. She suffered multiple stab wounds and woke up in the hospital. Two weeks later she was released.

You obviously cannot shoot heroine in the hospital so she was discharged yesterday fourteen days clean. She talked to us and shared that she had said no the entire day to getting high because she wanted to stay clean. She said she wanted to move out to the suburbs and get her life back together. She spent ten minutes talking to us and sharing her life, her personal life. We learned about her twelve year old son and her life before the streets.

It will be extremely difficult for her to remain in the environment she is in and remain clean so we are praying for strength and a quick exit. She said she wanted to have lunch with us this weekend. We passed her our number and told her we would pick her up Sunday morning. We are praying she calls us – we would love to see her released from this captivity once and for all.

We often say "if the drugs don't kill them the streets will...." -- there is a reason this woman's life was spared. there is a reason she survived multiple stab wounds. God has a plan for her. She has a purpose in this world. She is worthy of love.

lackadaisical.

Us -  “How can we pray with you tonight”

Her – “Oh, I got raped last night, so for protection. Pray that I don’t get raped again tonight”

Jaime continues on to pray with this girl and I just sat there as righteous anger boiled up within me.

She said it so calmly, so lackadaisical, as if it were a frequent prayer request….. as if rape was something that happened so common that she was numb to it.

She was the third woman that night to tell us she was raped.

Women shouldn’t have to live in fear of being raped.

Women shouldn’t have to live in fear of being raped twice in twenty-four hours.

I can’t think of anything more demeaning and demoralizing than rape.
I can’t think of something that makes a woman feel more unworthy.

When God sent Jesus so that we may have life and have it in abundance rape was not a part of that abundance. I just kept asking myself over and over again “God….. what kind of world do we live in?” What kind of world do we live in where men rape women? And worse, what kind of world do we live in where we know that this happens and we do n.o.t.h.i.n.g.? What kind of world do we live in where the City of Detroit Police Department has 11,000 rape kits sitting in their evidence room that havent been tested because they are from prostitutes?

And these are the sort of nights that keep us awake, these are the sort of nights that stir our spirits, these are the kind of nights that turn our stomachs at the disgusting reality of what happens minutes from our front doors.

“If we have hands like God and arms like Christ

we’d reach far we’d take each scar

and we’d never measure the length

we’d never hesitate

we’d never take the time to just think about it and wait

we’d stretch so far we’d have stretch marks of faith

because some people only know the comfort of their chains

some people think God only looks like their abusive fathers face

some people don’t even know there is a possibility to be saved

because they don’t know what we know

that love isn’t something you pay for

lust isn’t something you pay for

sex isn’t something you pay for

sin is something you pay for

and that price has already been paid for

with the blood of a savior

whose arms stretch so far they stretch through time

with limitless relentless restoring grace

who in our world needs to hear that today

who right beside you needs some truth today

who is your neighbor beat up and bleeding

ignored and needing on the side of the way

who is broken in bondage

in that side of the world or on this side of the street

Because they are someone beautiful

they are someone valuable

blood was shed because

they were meant to be someone free”

-Hosanna Wong

the ninety-nine

Part two.

We started outreach on Monday night with the same prayer we ended Sunday with, “God please don’t let us see her…” – we really wanted her to leave the streets, we really wanted her to pursue the stirring in her heart, we really wanted her to encounter the fullness of God and the abundance He has for her. Seeing her meant she didn’t go to rehab.

From an outsiders perspective one may think this is a simple decision, if you want to get off the streets then you can leave at any time… but it is not like that, not in the slightest. Leaving the streets because you are arrested is easy because you are being forced. Leaving the streets because you are sick is easy because you have no other choice. Leaving the streets because you are choosing to get clean from drugs and because you believe in yourself is not easy. Drugs suck you in, manipulate your mind, control your thoughts, and take power of your will.

If drugs are not enough to keep you the chaos of life is. The streets suck you in and pull you into a whirlwind of self-damnation with a whisper of ‘this is all you are good enough for…’ The streets tell a girl she isn’t worthy and if the streets don’t kill her the drugs will.

We prayed with over forty people Monday night. Stopped at a few crack houses, prayed with drug lords, held hands with hopeless women, heard the desperate cries “I just want off the streets”….

As the sun went down over Detroit and the scarcity of street lights flickered… we hadn’t seen her yet. We drove to the crack house we found her at on Sunday and were greeted by the same man… he asked if we were looking for her again and we said we were…. He walked into the crack house, his voice echoed to the streets as he called her name… but there wasn’t a response… he came out of the house and said “I saw her earlier…. She looked so great, she was all dressed up, her hair was done, she said she was leaving and then she left….”

I love how God works because even in that moment as joyous as our hearts were we saw that the harvest was still plentiful and right in front of us. We asked our new friend what happened to his nose, which was so obviously in poor shape…. He shared he was in an altercation and his right nostril was ‘ripped’ off….. so we prayed over him and asked God to grow that back, to rebuild cartilage, to heal him. We told him we would be back on Monday again and expectantly looked forward to seeing a healed nose. She may have left but new relationships built from her exit. Even when the one sheep comes back… there is still 99 more to tend to…

As we drove off, Jaime and I put in our calendars “_________ left the streets today” with a yearly reminder. A yearly reminder that she is worthy, she is good enough, she has a plan… We have learned that God is stronger than any force of a drug addiction, any force of mind manipulation, any force of control –when He puts something in our hearts nothing can stop us. The one sheep returned, but we still have ninety-nine more...... ninety-nine more sheep that need to know about God's redemptive love... ninety-nine more that have a story to fulfill....

What we couldn’t do for ourselves Christ perfected.

the one

I think one of the sweetest things that AWOL has adopted from Donna’s leadership with 70x7 is that she always began ministry and ended ministry in prayer. Each week before we hit the streets our team unites in prayer with expectant hearts and each night we end outreach with filled hearts because God always goes above and beyond our expectations for the night. I love that His word says He prepares good works in advance for us. It’s so comforting to know that it is Him doing all of this…. Not me, not Jaime, not our team or those who serve alongside us… but HIM.

On Sunday we had plans to meet up with the girl I blogged about here. We showed up at 2pm like arranged and then we waited….and waited… truly the thought of her not showing up didn’t cross my mind. I knew we would see her and my mind was resolved on that. At 2:23pm I looked at Jaime and said that doubt had entered my mind and for the first time I thought we weren’t going to see her that day. So in normal Jaime fashion she said “well duh LF let’s just go find her”. We had no idea where she lived because any time that we had gone to her house it was dark out and after going to multiple houses in one night everything sort of bunches together. So we prayed and asked the Holy Spirit to tell us where she lived. Jaime got a word and so we followed through on it and went looking for her word… two streets later we saw a street sign with the word she got in the name of the street….so we went down it. Very quickly in we realized this street was familiar and we had been on it before…. Then we saw the house and we laughed because last time we knocked on the door to this house we were pretty sure we were going to die. But, we both thought that was the house so we went and knocked on the door. Sure enough, it was her house but she wasn’t home. The woman who answered the door told us to go back to the corner she usually is at and wait for her. So we did.. and nothing.

We had driven around and then driven some more and each time we got to this one specific street I turned right. So on the 4^th or 5^th time down this street Jaime says “LF go straight” so I did, passing my right turn. Then Jaime said “wait…. Didn’t we go to a house on this street once before and she was at a house on the corner down here…. Remember the house that you got out of the van and totally bit it and fell on your butt”…. Yeah I remembered, I also remembered Jaime laughing hysterically at me. We pulled up to the house on the corner and thought we would go knock on the door. A man across the street hollered at us and asked if we were looking for _______ and we said yes and he said she was inside that house. So we knocked on the door, someone answered, opened the door, and then walked away… it was eerie. So the guy said “you want me to go in and get her…. You her family” we said “yeah” so he did… and sure enough she came out. She hugged me and said she loved us so much and was so sorry, but she couldn’t have lunch… She told us she was still planning on leaving the streets for rehab the next day.

We drove off and we had a great peace… I think the day was more about her knowing she was worth going after, worth pursuing, worth looking for. People need to know that they are worthy of love. People need to know that someone cares enough about them to seek them out. People need to know that when they don’t show up that they are missed. People need to know that they are worth the extra mile. Just as God lead us to where she was – He is also leading her to where she is going….

What do you think? If a man has a hundred sheep, and one of them has gone astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine on the mountains and go in search of the one that went astray? Matthew 18:12

We left the neighborhood and our prayer was “God – please don’t let us see her tomorrow night….” because then it would mean she did what she was going to do… it would mean she left the streets, she went to rehab, and she was entering a journey of restoration…

So Monday happened…. Check back tomorrow ;)

54 and 12

Guest Post -- Written by AWOL President, Jaime

“He was the 54th person I knew that has died in 12 years. I’m not talking Facebook friends, I am talking 54 close - inner circle - friends of mine that have died in the last 12 years.”

My heart broke as one of the girls on the streets shared this story with us. Most of us will probably never see 54 close friends die, let alone have the opportunity to have 54 close friends. In a world where you see another friend die due to overdoses or murders as fast as you change your nailpolish, you have nothing left to do but find a new friend and wait for them to die. At least that is how it seems.

She continued on to talk about her 12 year old daughter and how if she died her daughter would never see her again. Her words, “if I die, I’m a nobody, Detroit isn’t going to contact my family, I’m just another dead girl” and as they came out of her mouth my heart sank even further. I come from the background where my brother was a nobody and Detroit couldn’t even tell my family he was dead until 2 weeks after the fact. The only person to see my brother again was my dad when a Detroit morgue vehicle pulled in our driveway and showed my dad his dead face for identification.

We never saw him again. No open casket. We literally never saw him again. And everyone deserves that.

And I told her that. I told her I never got to see my brother again and he died alone In a field in Detroit and nobody cared. And her daughter deserves to see her again. And she cried.

This was the first time ever she has expressed interest in leaving the streets. And for that we are hopeful because if we don’t have hope we have nothing. We will never lose hope for these girls. What we see seems impossible but we belong to a God who is the God of Impossible.

she was the impossibility...

God can answer a prayer in an instant. Last night we asked God to put two specific women in our path and immediately after those prayers we saw both women. God can answer a prayer in an instant but the word tells us to pray without ceasing – that means when the answer doesn’t happen immediately you keep knocking, seeking, and asking. For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end—it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay. – Habakkuk 2:3.

We see a lot of girls on the streets every week, most we see repeatedly, some once or twice and never again. Some girls we can see every week for a year and still not form a deep relationship with them and some we see continuously for a year and build a connection that is deeper than the one I share with my own neighbor. Some girls grip your heart the second you meet them, their face follows you home, and you find yourself praying for them all the time. There is one girl I met a year ago that I instantly loved the second I first met her. T’was love at first sight if you will. Something about her captivated me and I’ve seen God use her to speak into my life countless times. She is one of the faces we see every week that I take with me off the streets. The whole team loves her. She is the girl that you think will never leave the streets – she is the impossibility.

Last night while driving during outreach I said “Jesusssssss….. it would be SO COOL if you could just put ______ in our path!!!!” one block later… boom. “okay… now you are just showing off”. I jumped out of the car and gave her a big hug and told her how much I missed her and she kept telling us how much she loved us and wouldn’t let go. I think we must’ve hugged for a solid five minutes. As she gripped my arm with her hand and reached her other arm around my neck resting on my shoulder, she began sharing with our team how she tracked down her birth mom and left the streets for the first time on her own terms; she wasn’t arrested, wasn’t in jail, not sick…but wanted to leave. She was clean for four days and the happiest any of us have ever seen her.

She told us she had dreams and couldn’t live like this anymore. She told us she had a story, she had a testimony, that she was a human being and not just a prostitute….. she told us she was worthy of love.

We stood on that street corner for twenty minutes listening to her tell us about God’s restoration in her life. If ever I heard the gospel preached it was in that moment. We listened to her tell us that one day she would be riding around with us praying for the girls. We listened to her tell us that God had a plan for her life. She said she was saying good bye to the streets and hello to a new life. It was hands down one of the best moments of my entire life. Before she left Jaime grabbed her hand and looked her right in the eye and told her that God did have a purpose for her life, that she does have a plan and how much he loves her. She is the impossibility God made possible.

She walked away and I started to laugh and then I started to cry… an hour later our team was still in shock. It always blows my mind to see the Sovereignty of our God. How majestic and wondrous His ways are and how beautiful His plans unfold. God doesn’t see a prostitute or a drug addict, He sees His beloved. A whole year I’ve been praying for her….. for this moment, for last night…. To walk in the freedom God has for her. Glory.