she was the impossibility...

God can answer a prayer in an instant. Last night we asked God to put two specific women in our path and immediately after those prayers we saw both women. God can answer a prayer in an instant but the word tells us to pray without ceasing – that means when the answer doesn’t happen immediately you keep knocking, seeking, and asking. For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end—it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay. – Habakkuk 2:3.

We see a lot of girls on the streets every week, most we see repeatedly, some once or twice and never again. Some girls we can see every week for a year and still not form a deep relationship with them and some we see continuously for a year and build a connection that is deeper than the one I share with my own neighbor. Some girls grip your heart the second you meet them, their face follows you home, and you find yourself praying for them all the time. There is one girl I met a year ago that I instantly loved the second I first met her. T’was love at first sight if you will. Something about her captivated me and I’ve seen God use her to speak into my life countless times. She is one of the faces we see every week that I take with me off the streets. The whole team loves her. She is the girl that you think will never leave the streets – she is the impossibility.

Last night while driving during outreach I said “Jesusssssss….. it would be SO COOL if you could just put ______ in our path!!!!” one block later… boom. “okay… now you are just showing off”. I jumped out of the car and gave her a big hug and told her how much I missed her and she kept telling us how much she loved us and wouldn’t let go. I think we must’ve hugged for a solid five minutes. As she gripped my arm with her hand and reached her other arm around my neck resting on my shoulder, she began sharing with our team how she tracked down her birth mom and left the streets for the first time on her own terms; she wasn’t arrested, wasn’t in jail, not sick…but wanted to leave. She was clean for four days and the happiest any of us have ever seen her.

She told us she had dreams and couldn’t live like this anymore. She told us she had a story, she had a testimony, that she was a human being and not just a prostitute….. she told us she was worthy of love.

We stood on that street corner for twenty minutes listening to her tell us about God’s restoration in her life. If ever I heard the gospel preached it was in that moment. We listened to her tell us that one day she would be riding around with us praying for the girls. We listened to her tell us that God had a plan for her life. She said she was saying good bye to the streets and hello to a new life. It was hands down one of the best moments of my entire life. Before she left Jaime grabbed her hand and looked her right in the eye and told her that God did have a purpose for her life, that she does have a plan and how much he loves her. She is the impossibility God made possible.

She walked away and I started to laugh and then I started to cry… an hour later our team was still in shock. It always blows my mind to see the Sovereignty of our God. How majestic and wondrous His ways are and how beautiful His plans unfold. God doesn’t see a prostitute or a drug addict, He sees His beloved. A whole year I’ve been praying for her….. for this moment, for last night…. To walk in the freedom God has for her. Glory.

Happy Anniversary AWOL!

Today is the one year anniversary of All Worthy of Love! Today is proof that dreams really do come true.

When AWOL first surfaced I was very hesitant. I did not want to start a ministry. I did not want the responsibility. After hearing the statistic that Americans spend $16 billion dollars on Valentine’s Day to show one person that they are worthy of love while $32 billion dollars a year is spent on the human trafficking industry that shows 27 million people that they are not worthy of love, my life was wrecked. I had heard that slavery still existed, I donated money, participated in awareness campaigns here and there but I was not personally affected. I wonder now how that could have ever been true? I was that person that knew about slavery but chose not to allow it to affect my life. I mean it makes sense, it really is an inconvenience to turn a deaf ear to the reality that there are more slaves today than there ever has been before in history. I use the word inconvenience because when that truth resounds in your heart and truly captures your attention it keeps you up at night, it clouds your mind, it surrounds your thoughts, it breaks your heart and takes you to a depth of grief you otherwise would not know.

I started this Facebook event six days before Valentine’s day 2012 and encouraged my 600 Facebook friends (I mean, I probably knew half of them, right?) to donate to an organization that was abolishing slavery to show all people that they are worthy of love in place of flowers and chocolates for one person. I really did not think anything would come from this. But on the 14^th of February 600 people turned into 7,000…. In six days. The consensus of this event was that the majority of the people invited truly had no idea slavery still existed. It was then that I knew I could never revert back into knowing and doing nothing. God began to break my heart to a level I had never known. I began to grieve for the innocent lives that were robbed. I began to feel the pain of bondage. I began to understand more deeply my Makers heart and the pain He feels for the 27 million. So I said yes. I said yes to be a voice for the voiceless. I said yes to being inconvenienced every day of the rest of my life in order to bring one person out of bondage. I said yes to what breaks God’s heart. I said yes to be a part of the solution. I said yes to whatever God wanted to do with my life. I said yes to stepping out in faith on a dream that all people would know they are worthy of love. I said yes.

It has been the absolute best decision I could have ever made next to saying Yes to the saving grace offered by my Savior, Jesus Christ.

The last year has been incredible. I mean I sit here and laugh at all the greatness that I’ve witnessed. If I have learned anything it is to follow your dreams. No matter what. Follow your dreams. What the world sees as impossible, God sees as possible. Even with that truth, I have felt discouraged and inadequate of making this dream a reality because the world says a twenty something year old cannot change a culturally accepted reality of slavery. The world says a young girl from Detroit cannot make any dent in an evil as large as slavery. But what the world says doesn’t hold a candle to what my God says. Yes, I cannot make a dent in slavery on my own --- but with the help of others who have said yes, we can all make a dent, we can all make a difference.  When I think of AWOL two main factors come to my mind:

1. I cannot do anything apart from God.

2. I can accomplish very little apart from a working with a team and being involved in a community.

So today on the one year anniversary – I am not more excited about today than any other day because I have done anything. I am more excited about today because I have single handedly witnessed God move and use a body to make a change. I have seen lives changed. I have seen girls leave the industry. I have seen lives restored and rescued. I have seen abolitionists rise up and say yes. I have seen girls freed from addiction. I have seen organizations come together rather than work in competition. I know that God is a God of justice and He will not stop until it rolls on like a river.

  

Thank you, Jaime Davis for your support, dedication, and heart to seek justice. Thank you for saying yes. I am so thankful to have you on this team and to have walked through the last year with you. You are an amazing President and AWOL is blessed to have you as a leader. Your audacious spirit and committed heart to loving the broken and breaking the chains of injustice encourage me. Thank you for being my sister, best friend, and ministry partner. I couldn’t imagine walking through the last year without you.

Thank you, Donna McCauley for believing in Jaime and me and welcoming us into the incredible ministry you lead. You have been a huge blessing to the two of us and your wisdom has forever changed us. I have never known a woman so obedient to God and so in love with His people. Because you said yes countless lives have come to know Christ, to know restoration, and to be freed from bondage. I cannot thank you enough for supporting AWOL and mentoring us as we walk in the path God has called us to. I love you Mama D!

To the AWOL team & Board of Directors --- greater things are still to be done – thank you for saying yes and for believing in a vision God gave me and being a part of the solution. Thank you for following God and for being HIS answer to injustice. You are world changers and it is an honor to work alongside you all in the abolition of slavery.

And to everyone that reads this, know these truths and let them resound in your heart -- God wants to use YOU to impact this world and no matter what anyone tells you – hear this, you are a world changer, you have a destiny, and your life serves a divine purpose…. SAY YES.

january.

We heard that January was a slow month. We heard that the streets were usually dismal. We heard the girls would be far and few between. We heard that January would be quiet. We heard the weatherman continually forecast temperatures colder than the previous week. Jaime, Jeana, and I entered the month of January with the expectation that everything we heard about January would be different this January…….

Our leader has spent the month of January off the streets but in prayer and fasting over the ministry and seeking the Lord for what is to come. For the first time in eleven years she commissioned three of us to the streets without her physically present…. She has lead this outreach for over 10 years so you understand her surprise when she hears this January is not slow, the streets are not dismal, the girls are not far and few between, and the month is not quiet.

Twenty girls this week, nineteen the last, two dozen the week before… and the numbers increase. But it is not about numbers. The streets are not slow this month because the Spirit is active. The streets are not dismal this month because the encounters have been mind blowing. The girls are not far and few between because no matter how dark of a place you find yourself in the light attracts you and draws you near. We have seen our regular girls and we have prayed with a lot of new girls. Even girls who are still in the womb… one of our girls is 5 days away from her due date and when I laid my hand on her stomach the baby suddenly became an acrobat – she knew the Spirit. The first night out Jeana said God told her to buy cheerios, so she did…. While we were out Jamie felt like she was supposed to give them to a specific girl who then responded “I have an 18 month old and a 6 year old and they both love cheerios, thank you!” We have been able to pass out coats, scarves, gloves, and most importantly hope to more girls than we have seen since the summer.

I also could say it has not been a slow month because the spiritual warfare has been off the hook. The streets have not been dismal because every corner also has a man present guarding territory. This past week it seemed as though every girl we prayed with got a date immediately after. Satan thinks this neighborhood is his playground, but when you bring the Holy Spirit the devil doesn’t stand a chance!

During outreach Jeana had a vision that our car was leaving behind a trail of fire and then I had a vision of heating lamps… Jeana added that the heating lamps were the girls after we drove away from them, the fire of God was upon them and heat beamed off every one of them. The light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds darkness has always got there first – but once light arrives all darkness shudders…..and that is the beauty, my beloved.

opened doors

This week has been such an exciting week of revelations. God is just so good. This morning a dear friend texted me “Today doors are going to open, not close”. I thought about it for a moment and I was like yeah of course doors will be opened. God does not lead us through a desert and abandon us. He does not leave us thirsty. I began thinking of the Israelites in the book of Exodus (my favorite book) and how they were in bondage for over 400 years. God sent Moses to rescue and redeem them. Moses only had the voice of God to depend on and when God told Moses to take the Israelites far away to the Red Sea Moses trusted Him. During their journey the Israelites lost faith….several times. They would have rather been back in bondage than walk through the desert toward a destination that was unknown. They continually questioned Moses and where they were headed. But, Moses, in faith trusted that God had a bigger plan. See, God was leading the Israelites toward an opened door… but the Israelites could not see that door. God doesn’t lead us through deserts to abandon us or shut us down with a closed door. God opens doors for us. He is the ultimate gentleman. Sometimes we cannot see the opened door. Sometimes we don’t even think the door exists.

 In this case, the door did not exist as far as human understanding. God had a bigger plan. He was not leading the Israelites in vain. God lead them to the Red Sea, a massive body of water. Once they got there the Israelites faith really began to deplete. But, God in His amazing power told Moses to lift his staff to the Red Sea and with that the Sea began to part. God made a door. He parted a sea and made a way for the Israelites to walk through. On each side was a wall of water and between the two was a walk way. God makes paths for us. Let’s live our lives in faith that God is a God who parts seas for us and makes a way even when we cannot see it. God opens doors that do not even exist. He is the God of impossibility because with Him all things are possible. Whatever you are facing, wherever you are wondering…. Listen to the small still voice behind you saying “This is the way; walk in it” (Is. 30:21). God will open doors for you in its appointed time. Do not waver like the Israelites…. Be firm. Have faith and trust Him. He is on your side. Walk toward open doors even when you don’t see them.

In your unfailing love you will lead the people you have redeemed.

In your strength you will guide them to your holy dwelling. – Exodus 15:13

revitilization

Last night I was hanging with my sweet roommate and we were discussing how wild this last year has been. As December creeps in on us (tomorrow) as does the close of the year. 2012 has been such a huge blessing! I have continually seen the goodness of the Lord prevail in all circumstances and I have witnessed His love and His beauty in so many different areas, situations, and events. Over the last year or so my feet have touched ground in Orlando, Vegas, Haiti, Miami, Japan, Thailand, New Jersey, New York, Washington DC, Amsterdam, Florence, Rome, and most importantly, Detroit City. I have been so blessed to travel and see so many things and meet so many different people. Everywhere I go I see the Lord’s beauty. I see the Lord’s goodness. I see the Lord’s faithfulness…in the good, the trials, the lows, and the unknown…He has been so faithful. I have learned that God truly does bring all things to completion. I have watched a City sprout into a re-birth and I’ve been a part of a Community that is hungry and eager to be a part of that revitalization and restoration. I have laughed, cried, loved, hurt, and experienced life. What a joy it is to feel. I cannot express the gratitude I have for my Church community and just how loving and supportive of a family they have been. I have watched a ministry (All Worthy of Love) grow and I’ve witnessed miracles and growth on the streets. The last 12-18 months have been so abundant but truly they have all lead me back to right where I am… in the City of Detroit. Loving out my faith. Dreaming to reality. Not just seeking to witness revitalization, to desire revitalization, but to deeply be saturated in being a part of revitalization…. In Detroit and in my community of friends. I eagerly anticipate the goodness of December and the next year. May it be His will and His Kingdom on Earth as it is in Heaven in my life, your life, and in this City.

Rambled heart strings.

I opened my eyes yesteday morning and the first thing I saw was my computer screen saver, it read “Reach the lost – No matter the cost”

My heart is heavy as I write this…. Someone needs to share her story. There is no obituary. There is no funeral that we know of. There is no certainty as to how it happened. The only certainty I can wrap my mind around and the brokenness I feel in my heart is that the last encounter we had with her she knew that Jesus loved her and as we wrapped our arms around her and prayed over her chains were broken.

I met her one of my first times out on the streets with 70x7… she was so hesitant to come near our van, she didn’t want prayer and she didn’t want to talk. Each week that we saw her she would come a little closer toward the van, soon she would let us pray over her, and sometimes she would let us in to a little of her world. I remember seeing her for the first time and saying “that girl is hard” and Jaime responded “No, she is broken.”  I’ve written about her on this blog numerous times…. She is the girl I wanted to take home with me. She is the girl that kept me awake at night…. often. Each week she looked a little rougher, a little more broken, a little more hurt… the streets were killing her slowly. As time progressed so did her trust in us. She started to come to the window of the van and would share some prayer requests…most always for safety. She then let us get out of the van and hug her. We were there when she was scared. We were there when she got out of jail. We were there after she was beat up and raped. We were there when she got out of rehab and was clean from heroine. We were there when she wanted prayer and we were there when she needed a comforting hug. We were there.

Words fail me…they don’t do justice. Our team loved her. It is easy to recall the last six months of the moments we met with her… but the last two encounters are embedded on my heart. The second to last time we saw her we were on the streets praying with a group of six or seven people and she came running around the corner “can I have one.. Can I have one!!”… Every one of us in the van just started smiling. She was happy to see us; she had been waiting for us. That night she welcomed me out to hug her and pray over her. This was a huge breakthrough. The following week we were out and we ran into our beloved… she had been drinking and was the most talkative we ever saw her. Jeana got out of the van and had a 20 minute conversation with her and she began to pour out her heart. She wasn’t using heroine. She just got out of rehab. She hated being on the streets. She wanted out. She felt trapped. She applied for a job at K-Mart. She didn’t know how things got to this point. She was scared. She wanted to be freed. She wanted to be clean. She passed up a friend who was waiting on her because she WANTED prayer. She had plans. She shared she wanted to get married and have kids one day. She wanted a better life. She also shared she felt hopeless and felt like death was her only option…she didn’t want to live anymore if this was all life had for her. She shared how she got on the streets and about the days before. She opened her heart and we offered her Jesus. Jeana wrapped her arms around her and prayed over her.

Last night we were stopped at the spot she usually is at. We prayed with a few people and then he came over…we asked him where she was and he said “She is no longer with us”…. He went on to share that she died from an overdose. My heart sank. I was numb. I couldn’t move. It seemed like so many people were coming to the van, more than ever in this spot and I felt like I was stuck in time and just couldn’t focus. Even one of the girls on the streets asked if we were okay. As everyone left the van and we rolled up our window our van was silent. I just broke down in a deep cry. The pain was unreal. It was like someone just told me my relative died. I buried my head in my arms and said “Donna you’re gonna have to coach me through this… I don’t know how I get my head back in the game after this”… she said “you don’t….”.

I felt like last night was God saying “do you really know what you are saying yes to” and then showed us a glimpse… the cost is worth it and her death is a reminder of the importance that these girls need to know they are loved and that Jesus Christ died for them. Jaime and I drove home together, a rather quiet drive… we sat in the car in silence and listened to ‘Finish what you started’ by Sean Feucht. “Oh my God, You can do anything…and oh my God, nothing is too hard for you… You’re faithful to the end.. You will finish what You started…” God is faithful until the end. He finishes what He starts. He loved her so much that He sent our team to pray with her every week. As much as it grieves my heart to know that I won’t see her any longer… It encourages me to know that we were used to show her Jesus. Our days are fleeting.. Tomorrow is not promised.. and knowing Jesus is the ONLY thing that matters.

I am so blessed to work with such an amazing team and be a small part in such an incredible outreach. I love our team. Our leader, Donna is like a Mom to us… she called last night to check on us and make sure we were okay… The streets aren’t just an outreach; it’s a part of our lives relationally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. As much as it pains me to see her go, I am blessed beyond words that we were able to know her. I can’t imagine not being on these streets. Not building these relationships. Not offering hope. I can’t imagine not having these amazing relationships with these girls. I’m so thankful for our team and that we have the privilege to reach God’s children and offer them hope. I’m thankful that the feet that deliver the good news are beautiful and that we were able to offer her hope, love, and Jesus.  I can’t imagine doing anything different. Reach the lost – no matter the cost.

speak life over your life.

Restoration.

As I enter yet again, a new season of my life I want to enter it joyfully and with expectation that the Lord is going to rock my life. Over the weekend I attended a spiritual awakening conference led by Kevin Dedmon out of Bethel Church in Redding, CA. Something that Kevin said over the weekend really impacted me and I found myself as the person in church saying “yes…that is me”. Kevin said “people know what is wrong with them. They need to know what is right with them”. I have learned that when you speak life, life happens and when you speak death, death happens. It’s funny how we are blinded to those who speak death into our lives and we subconsciously become submissive and receiving toward the negative they speak toward us. I’ve had negative words spoken into my life as long as I can remember. A woman spoke over me during the conference that I have been trained all my life to be manipulated by men but God is saying no more. I’ll amen to that and agree, no more. For too long people close to me have spoken death into my life making me believe I am less than I am. The Lord is revealing His truths about who He is creating me to be and who I am in Christ Jesus.. I rebuke the death spoken over me, the lies fed into my life and I am choosing to forgive the tongues that spoke them because my God is greater. The cool thing about God is that He lets us come as we are and leave as He is.

Mind restoration, speak life over your life. You are far too treasured to allow death to come anywhere near your identity in Christ.

shaken to the core.

I cannot recall a time in my life where I was ever so shaken to my core. And as much as my first impulse is to get it out of my mind and not to think about what took place last night, I can’t. The fear that trembled as each girl retold the same story that took place the night before. The hopelessness in their eyes and deep desire to be removed from their current situation paralyzes me. Eighteen minutes, 14.6 miles from my front door is a man rapping women and slitting their throats. When I first began serving the prostitution community there was a rapist going around and leaving young women to die in abandon fields smothered in a pool of blood from their slit throat. The first week I went out to serve there was three women found dead within the last week. Months have since passed and I’ve begun to build relationships with these women. I recognize them. I know their ‘names’. There is no stronger relationship than one built on the saving grace of Jesus Christ and that is exactly what we have built with these women. We pray with them, cry with them, and hurt with them.

But last night changes everything. A woman I know, someone’s daughter, someone’s friend, a beautiful young woman was found Sunday night in an abandoned house brutally beaten with a 2x4, raped, and left to die in a pool of her own blood flowing from the large slit across her throat. Each girl told us the same story and each girl said they did not know her last name so no one could go visit her in the hospital. It’s so much like Thailand; these girls have street names, heck I don’t even think any of us know their real names. Can you imagine transitioning into a life where you are not only abused, taken advantage of, raped, and the like but then you have you identity removed, too? Can you imagine someone calling you by a number? Can you imagine someone calling you a different name than the name you’ve been called all your life? No one can visit this girl because no one knows her real name. This breaks me.

Devastated to hear the news, we continued on to our next friend. I would have to say that of all the woman we meet with and pray with, this one has captivated my heart in a way I can’t explain. I see right through her hard exterior. I see her pain. I see her hurt. And as my friend said, she has no idea how to function anymore she is so hurt. It is as if she is lifeless. I was in the van the first night we came across this young girl and even then she was fearful to come to us. These streets are NO place for young women. I’ve watched her over the last several months continue to withdraw more and more from us, more and more from life. She is broken. Usually she is timid to come to us for prayer but last night she was completely different. Fear was consuming her. She was afraid to come near us. Afraid to talk to us. Afraid to let us pray for her. Afraid to let us hug her. She had just been raped by two men at the same time and pistol whipped in her head. Blood covered her open wound on the top of her head from where the pistol landed. And all I can think is please let me hold you. Please let me hug you and take you home with me. Please let me cover you in love. Please let me wash your feet. Be my family. Come with me. I want to scream YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN THIS! YOU DESERVE MORE THAN THIS! GOD LOVES YOU!

Another girl we spoke with had an encounter with the same man over the weekend. He got her naked and raped her in his car. When she fought him he cut her leg up with his knife, opened the car door, and pushed her out of the car while moving…she was naked. I could pour out my guts on this keyboard in despair and anger. Can you even fathom being treated like such a piece of garbage?

We located the van that is allegedly responsible for all you’ve just read. We followed him for blocks until we were close enough to write down his license plate number and description of his van. We then wrote it down and passed out copies to all the girls we could find and told them to stay far away.

Words do not suffice the anguish in my heart today as I write this. 14.6 miles from my front door.

The devil thinks this neighborhood is his playground….. well my response is this: Let our names be feared at the gates of hell as we exalt the Savior and redeem what BELONGS to the LORD! The darkness HAS NOT overcome the light. We need to wake up world. Human trafficking is not a third world problem. It’s a Detroit, Michigan problem. It’s a EVERYWHERE problem. Our war is NOT against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. These girls are worthy of love. They need to know how much Jesus loves them. They need to know that there is hope. They need to know that this is not what they deserve. They need to know that Heaven is real. That Jesus Christ is real. That He loves them with an everlasting love that can never be shaken. Oh dear God, please save my sisters, please rebuke and convict the heart of this man on the streets and lead him to salvation, Lord please deliver the brokenness of my sisters, and God please use me to whatever capacity You will. Send laborers, Lord……. Help me to love these girls like You do. Open doors to remove them from the streets. Protect them, in Jesus name.

beyond yourself.

Who am I giving life to right now? Who is it I can believe in? Even if it is exhausting and painful, who can I give life to? I think we are constantly given opportunities to give life. We see the grim situation, or a situation where someone needs hope, and we make a choice. Giving life isn't always easy. People are messy. People hurt us, reject us and do things that make us want to run away as fast as we can. But think of those that have given us life. What would have happened if they would have said no to us? Where would we be if it weren't for the people that decided to see through our messiness and believe in us? I am finding that as I give life to others, life is given to me. Isn't that what giving does? While we don't do it to get back, it just happens that way.